Yesterday was Halloween. It was the second one since James passed away. I had a hard time with it last year. I handed out candy and then went to a party dressed as Ugly Betty-had to make good use of my braces!-but my heart really wasn't in it. This year, the Halloween party was early; it was on the 17th. I went back and forth about going. I enjoyed putting together my rock star costume but that was it. I really did not enjoy the party that much. My friends and I got there around 8:30; by 10:00 I was wondering why I was even there. It was something James looked forward too. It was something I did for him. I think this year's party will be my last one. Of course, I said that last year too. I am just getting too old for the inevitable drama. I want a nice, quiet, minimal drama life.
I was fine with yesterday being Halloween until Friday when I decided I did not have enough candy and set out at lunch to get some more. I picked up a few packages at the Dollar Store and then decided since I was right there, I would run into Safeway and get a bag of chips to go with my sandwich that I no longer wanted to eat. I ended up getting a couple more bags of candy while I was there. I felt sad walking back to my car. I was reliving the conversation we had every year in which James told me I had plenty of candy and his "of course you did" response when I came home from work on Halloween and told him I got more candy. I was remembering his wisely not saying a word when I still had a bunch of candy leftover after the last kid rang the doorbell.
Last night, the first kids rang the bell at 6:18. It took me about 1/2 hour to reach 50 kids and about 50 minutes to reach 100. I keep track for two reasons. First, so I have a rough idea of how many to expect the next year (seriously, the accountant in me just does not stop). Second, it is a game for me. The goal is to have more kids than the year before. Obviously, this is not something I can control. Last year, I had 260 kids. It was my best year in this house and I wondered if James had sent a few kids my way to make me happy. I knew that would be tough to beat. This year, I had 276. And I still have a bunch of leftover candy.
It was hard to not have James upstairs playing his game while I was handing out candy. There were a couple of times where I almost shouted out my "milestones" out of habit. There a couple of times when I could hear his words: "don't worry, they will come" when 6:00 came and went without a knock on the door. "You have plenty of candy," after my supply was cut in half after the 7:00 rush. "There is still plenty of time left," after the 8:00 lull when I start fretting about not beating the prior year's number. "Anything good left?" when I turn the light off at 9:00 and still have a bowl full of candy, having saved as many Almond Joys for James as I could-candy I was sure to bring home and hide when he wasn't looking so he wouldn't eat them all ahead of time.
I sent my friend text messages all night long with my "progress." I thanked her at the end of the night for putting up with them. It was easier than last year, I will admit that. But some of the joy was definitely gone. I wonder if it will ever come back?
Showing posts with label Halloween. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Halloween. Show all posts
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Saturday, October 17, 2009
I Wanna be a Rock Star, Part I: the guitar
Tonight is the Halloween party. It's early because next weekend there is a big soccer tournament and the couple hosting it didn't want to do it on Halloween. It is their first year as homeowners and they are looking forward to trick-or-treaters. I can't say I blame them as I love trick-or-treaters as well (not to mention all the left over candy).
I always have a hard time coming up with a costume. A couple of months ago, one of my friends posted a couple of pictures of himself from the early '90s on Facebook. His pictures inspired my costume: I'm going to be a rock star.
Every rock star needs a guitar. I was looking at a stack of boxes in the recycle pile at work one day and mentioned to a co-worker I could probably use one to make a guitar for my costume. He said to tell him what I wanted and he would make one for me. (I have awesome co-workers). So, I found what I was looking for on eBay (of course), printed out a picutre and said that he just needed to cut out the basic shape for me. I was thrilled with what he gave me and found out this morning that he actually had another co-worker bring in his guitar to use as a model. (Some of us just can't limit our Starcrack addictions to weekdays-I ended up right behind the guitar owning co-worker in line for our caffeine fixes this morning. The ensuing conversation is how I found out about the guitar).
Last weekend, I painted the guitar. Last night, my friend came over to help me finish it. Here's the end result:
The white and brown paint is your standard (cheap) tempura kid's craft paint. I went with white so it would show up better in the dark. The brown turned out awesome-close up, it looks like wood. The grey bars and the purple squiggles are acrylic. The purple is actually glittery. The strings are 30-lbs. fishing line held into place with brads. The grey knobs at the top are part of how it was cut out. The strap is a belt from a pair of shorts of mine that I don't use because the dogs chewed one of the ends off of it. The purple knobs are dark chocolate Hershey kisses with the tops cut off. My friend laughed as I was cutting the tops off. "Leave it to you to find a way to include chocolate," was her comment. I rewrapped them after I cut the tops off, so they can also double as a snack should the need arise.
I am very pleased with how this turned out. Not too shabby for a cardboard prop!
I always have a hard time coming up with a costume. A couple of months ago, one of my friends posted a couple of pictures of himself from the early '90s on Facebook. His pictures inspired my costume: I'm going to be a rock star.
Every rock star needs a guitar. I was looking at a stack of boxes in the recycle pile at work one day and mentioned to a co-worker I could probably use one to make a guitar for my costume. He said to tell him what I wanted and he would make one for me. (I have awesome co-workers). So, I found what I was looking for on eBay (of course), printed out a picutre and said that he just needed to cut out the basic shape for me. I was thrilled with what he gave me and found out this morning that he actually had another co-worker bring in his guitar to use as a model. (Some of us just can't limit our Starcrack addictions to weekdays-I ended up right behind the guitar owning co-worker in line for our caffeine fixes this morning. The ensuing conversation is how I found out about the guitar).
Last weekend, I painted the guitar. Last night, my friend came over to help me finish it. Here's the end result:
The white and brown paint is your standard (cheap) tempura kid's craft paint. I went with white so it would show up better in the dark. The brown turned out awesome-close up, it looks like wood. The grey bars and the purple squiggles are acrylic. The purple is actually glittery. The strings are 30-lbs. fishing line held into place with brads. The grey knobs at the top are part of how it was cut out. The strap is a belt from a pair of shorts of mine that I don't use because the dogs chewed one of the ends off of it. The purple knobs are dark chocolate Hershey kisses with the tops cut off. My friend laughed as I was cutting the tops off. "Leave it to you to find a way to include chocolate," was her comment. I rewrapped them after I cut the tops off, so they can also double as a snack should the need arise.I am very pleased with how this turned out. Not too shabby for a cardboard prop!
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