My goals for Day 2 were to read the profiles of the men who "liked" me, go through my Quickmatches to see if I "liked" any of them, email four of the nine men who appeared in my ideal search, respond to the guy from Day 1 who emailed me back and possibly change my screen name.
I was quickly reminded another reason why my stints on the various online dating sites have been so short is that I find wading through profiles to be both tedious and boring. As I read through them, I was thinking about what a time suck this is and how paying my bills or taking a nice, long, hot bath would be a much better use of my time.
My list of men who "liked" me had nineteen men on it. Since four of them don't appear on my Visitors list, I'm guessing they are either A-List members browsing invisibly, or I appeared in their Quickmatch section. I'm still not entirely sure how that works. Of the 19, I made it through 11 profiles. Of the 11, I emailed one and passed on the rest. My reasons for passing on most of them is they either lived too far away (i.e. Germany), they were too negative in their profile, or they had the hallmarks that indicated their profile might be a fake. I did "like" someone who "liked" me first so I'm curious as to whether or not he will email me or if his profile is fake as it read as one that could go either way.
I'm not sure how many of the Quickmatches sent to me I went through as they all tended to blend together. Again, from Quickmatch you can either "like" or "pass" and I only liked two of them. I didn't keep track of how many I passed on or the reasons for doing so but I know that a couple of them were because they didn't match my filters. I have it set that I'd like to meet someone who is between 35-48 and who lives near me. A 51 year old who lives almost 200 miles away certainly doesn't meet that criteria and makes me wonder if the system just matches you with anyone.
So the Quickmatch goal wasn't quite completed but I only had 11 profile views yesterday and only received 3 messages - two from scammers and one from a 29 year old - so it's not going to take me a lot of time to wade through yesterday's "results" and I should be able to make it through the rest of those profiles today.
The next goal was to respond to Day 1 Guy. That was easy enough; he again replied back but based on prior experience I get the sense that conversation is going nowhere. As did the conversation with the 29 year old, who I responded to but whose response to me gave me nothing to comment back on. I also changed my screen name to one that is more generic as I wondered how many people "got" my old one and if that was hampering my profile views.
The hardest part was emailing four of the nine remaining matches from my ideal criteria search. I changed my search to include men who "might" want children and that bumped my matches to 31. In the end, I did email four men yesterday: one from my now expanded search, one who "liked" me, and two who appeared in the "you might like" section. While I have always appreciated getting messages that indicate the guy read my profile, I really have to give props to men who take time to write a nice, well-thought out message. It is not an easy thing to do.
I was going to email a fifth guy. I was checking out his profile and it popped up he was checking out mine. Fate? Nope, when I went to email him, I got an error message that profile didn't exist so he either deleted it or blocked me.
Two days in and I can already tell I paid $20 for nothing. My goals for Day 3 are to finish reading the profiles of the men who have "liked" me so far, go through any new Quickmatches I have and email four men.
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
Tuesday, April 21, 2015
Seven Days of Ok Cupid, Day 1
Having chosen my pictures for my updated profile, the only thing left to do was log back in, change my pictures and wait for my "hundreds" of messages to flood my inbox.
Once I logged back in and changed my pictures, I reviewed my profile and made a couple of changes to make it a bit more current. Overall, I still felt it was short and to the point, and if stereotypes are to be believed, men don't read it anyway. They just look at your pictures and think "yep. I want to hit that." While I'm sure this does happen, I don't believe it to be true for all men. I also decided to pay for one month of "A-list" services for a few extra features to more closely follow what was done in the article that made me decide to try this.
As of 8:44 a.m., I was officially online dating again. The first thing I did was a search of my absolute ideal basic criteria: online within the last week so I know they are an active user, ages 35-48, lives within 25 miles of me, does not smoke or do drugs. Never or rarely drinks. Does not have nor want kids and likes dogs. In the Portland Metro area, this is all of nine men currently on Ok Cupid. Sigh...if I am going to meet my goal of messaging 25 men this week, I'm going to have to decide which of my criteria is least important to me.
I'm not sure if this is new since the last time I was on the site or if it's an A-list feature, but I can now see how many searches my profile came up in. Because online dating wasn't already depressing enough. For Day 1, I appeared in 1,251 searches. My profile was viewed a total of 30 times; I received a total of one message from someone who had messaged me previously and whose profile picture was so sleazy, I felt I needed to take an incredibly hot shower after looking at it. His message, which consisted of nothing more than "hi, my name is X" went into my filtered message folder as he does not fall into my search criteria of living near me. On my end, I sent messages to two of the nine men who matched my search criteria even though I didn't fit what they are looking for. Both read the messages; one replied. (One of the reasons I paid for the A-list membership was so I could see if messages I sent were read). Neither of them show up as having visited my profile, however.
I did have 17 "likes." I'm not sure if this is the result of men rating me highly but choosing not to message me or clicking "like" on Quickmatch, which only shows you a snapshot of the other person's profile and doesn't allow you to message the person unless you "like" them too, or both. I "liked" one of my Quickmatches; you can't see the next one unless you say yes or no to the current selection.
My goals for Day 2: go through the list of men who "liked" me and the Quickmatches chosen for me. Respond to the guy who did reply from Day 1. Email four of the nine men who remain on my list. Maybe change my username.
Once I logged back in and changed my pictures, I reviewed my profile and made a couple of changes to make it a bit more current. Overall, I still felt it was short and to the point, and if stereotypes are to be believed, men don't read it anyway. They just look at your pictures and think "yep. I want to hit that." While I'm sure this does happen, I don't believe it to be true for all men. I also decided to pay for one month of "A-list" services for a few extra features to more closely follow what was done in the article that made me decide to try this.
As of 8:44 a.m., I was officially online dating again. The first thing I did was a search of my absolute ideal basic criteria: online within the last week so I know they are an active user, ages 35-48, lives within 25 miles of me, does not smoke or do drugs. Never or rarely drinks. Does not have nor want kids and likes dogs. In the Portland Metro area, this is all of nine men currently on Ok Cupid. Sigh...if I am going to meet my goal of messaging 25 men this week, I'm going to have to decide which of my criteria is least important to me.
I'm not sure if this is new since the last time I was on the site or if it's an A-list feature, but I can now see how many searches my profile came up in. Because online dating wasn't already depressing enough. For Day 1, I appeared in 1,251 searches. My profile was viewed a total of 30 times; I received a total of one message from someone who had messaged me previously and whose profile picture was so sleazy, I felt I needed to take an incredibly hot shower after looking at it. His message, which consisted of nothing more than "hi, my name is X" went into my filtered message folder as he does not fall into my search criteria of living near me. On my end, I sent messages to two of the nine men who matched my search criteria even though I didn't fit what they are looking for. Both read the messages; one replied. (One of the reasons I paid for the A-list membership was so I could see if messages I sent were read). Neither of them show up as having visited my profile, however.
I did have 17 "likes." I'm not sure if this is the result of men rating me highly but choosing not to message me or clicking "like" on Quickmatch, which only shows you a snapshot of the other person's profile and doesn't allow you to message the person unless you "like" them too, or both. I "liked" one of my Quickmatches; you can't see the next one unless you say yes or no to the current selection.
My goals for Day 2: go through the list of men who "liked" me and the Quickmatches chosen for me. Respond to the guy who did reply from Day 1. Email four of the nine men who remain on my list. Maybe change my username.
Monday, April 20, 2015
PDX Metro Girl Documents HER Experience on Ok Cupid! for Seven Days
I have been on and off various online dating sites for about 5 years now. The amount of time I have spent on them has varied: at first, I realized I wasn't as ready to date as I thought I was following James's death and closed my accounts quickly. Then, I was just plain discouraged as I found online dating to be hard on the ego. Turns out you need a really thick skin to do it, and I don't have one that is thick enough.
My last stint on Ok Cupid! was about this time last year and it lasted for six months before it got too depressing and I disabled my account. From that experience, however, I did have my first (and only) date with a guy I "met" online (a guy with whom I initiated contact). So that in itself was progress.
I think part of the reason I've had short stints on the sites is because it doesn't feel like a natural way to meet someone - it doesn't feel like it's how I'm supposed to meet someone. I firmly believe you meet someone when you aren't looking and least expect it and online dating is definitely looking. So I've had the mindset it isn't going to work; being rejected by both Match.com and eHarmony the first time I tried them felt like a sign this isn't the right path for me. And my results would seem to support that theory in that I get very few profile views and even fewer messages.
But lately I've been thinking of giving Ok Cupid! another go despite the definition of insanity being doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. Then I read the series of articles by Thought Catalog contributor Chris Backley on his experience with Ok Cupid! where once again, popular theory is pointed out that if you are a woman, all you have to do is create a profile and you are flooded with messages. After reading the whole series of his week, I decided I'd reactivate my profile and document my own first seven days.
DAY ZERO:
I already have a profile created but since it didn't get me much action the last time around, I enlisted the help of four friends (two female, two male) to help me select my pictures. Three of them got back to me. All were in agreement on the same picture so clearly, that was the one I selected for my main picture. There was only one other in which two of my friends agreed so I used that one as well. Between the three of them, they chose 13 pictures. Feeling that was a bit overkill (and having Googled how many pictures was ideal), I narrowed it down to nine that I felt were a good representation of my life and met the core requirements of profile pictures: recent, show my activities and personality, show that I do get some exercise and I don't weigh 300 lbs, and of course, show a close up of my face so men can decide if I'm hot or not. After all, it's well known that pictures are key when it comes to online dating.
Stay tuned for Day One...
My last stint on Ok Cupid! was about this time last year and it lasted for six months before it got too depressing and I disabled my account. From that experience, however, I did have my first (and only) date with a guy I "met" online (a guy with whom I initiated contact). So that in itself was progress.
I think part of the reason I've had short stints on the sites is because it doesn't feel like a natural way to meet someone - it doesn't feel like it's how I'm supposed to meet someone. I firmly believe you meet someone when you aren't looking and least expect it and online dating is definitely looking. So I've had the mindset it isn't going to work; being rejected by both Match.com and eHarmony the first time I tried them felt like a sign this isn't the right path for me. And my results would seem to support that theory in that I get very few profile views and even fewer messages.
But lately I've been thinking of giving Ok Cupid! another go despite the definition of insanity being doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. Then I read the series of articles by Thought Catalog contributor Chris Backley on his experience with Ok Cupid! where once again, popular theory is pointed out that if you are a woman, all you have to do is create a profile and you are flooded with messages. After reading the whole series of his week, I decided I'd reactivate my profile and document my own first seven days.
DAY ZERO:
I already have a profile created but since it didn't get me much action the last time around, I enlisted the help of four friends (two female, two male) to help me select my pictures. Three of them got back to me. All were in agreement on the same picture so clearly, that was the one I selected for my main picture. There was only one other in which two of my friends agreed so I used that one as well. Between the three of them, they chose 13 pictures. Feeling that was a bit overkill (and having Googled how many pictures was ideal), I narrowed it down to nine that I felt were a good representation of my life and met the core requirements of profile pictures: recent, show my activities and personality, show that I do get some exercise and I don't weigh 300 lbs, and of course, show a close up of my face so men can decide if I'm hot or not. After all, it's well known that pictures are key when it comes to online dating.
Stay tuned for Day One...
Monday, March 30, 2015
Letting Go of a Lifeline
Not long after James died, I stumbled across the site ywbb.org-a site designed for young widows and widowers which had a message forum called "Chapter Two." Chapter Two was defined in different ways: for some, it was finding love again; for most, it was this new and foreign stage in our lives. This forum was great in that it was divided into sections: there was a general section, sections based on how long you'd been widowed, widowed with children, widowed without children, special circumstances, social, "widowbagos" (i.e. get togethers), etc. The best thing about this forum was it was available 24/7 and for the most part, the members there were accepting of "non-married widows" such as myself and other fiance(e)s.
YWBB quickly became a lifeline for me. It was the only place where there were others who understood exactly how I felt and what I was going through. It was where I could cry and have others cry with me or laugh and not have others think I wasn't grieving "properly." It is also how I found out about Meetup, which is what ultimately led to me starting my own group for young widows and widowers in this area. Mostly in those first months, I stayed in the newly widowed (0-6 months) section but from time to time, I'd venture to the other sections to get a feel for what I could expect down the road. I remember the first time I ventured into the social section and read about someone who was getting remarried-I started crying because I couldn't believe she'd do that to her late husband! Over time, the social section became my "home" and as I read the posts of those I'd gotten to know through the board announcing remarriages, I envisioned the day that post would finally come from me (and I'm still waiting...). I have not only "friended" several members of the board on Facebook, I even watched the wedding of one of them which was streamed live from the chapel in Vegas where the ceremony took place. I can honestly say that will likely be the only wedding I will ever "attend" in my PJs!
As time continued to pass, I found myself feeling less and less a part of the board and eventually I started posting less and less and then I realized I felt I'd outgrown the board and found a new (non-grief related) place to post. But I always knew the YWBB was there if I wanted or needed to go back to visit and whenever a new member joined my Meetup group, I directed them to the site. I don't know how many tens of thousands of people worldwide found this site to be a huge blessing.
On Friday, March 6th, exactly seven years and 1 month after James died, I found out via Facebook the site was being shut down. No reason was given but it was 12 years old and as I'm preparing to step down from organizing my Meetup group after 7 years, I can only imagine how the admins of the site feel after 12! I'm sure they are definitely ready to move on to whatever is next for them. I was at the beach with the dogs when I read the news and my first reaction was "No! You can't take away my lifeline! How do I fix this?!" But the next day, I started to think about how long it had been since I'd even checked in and I couldn't remember. What was being said on Facebook was that the site had become pretty dormant-of course, we all had to speculate on the reason for it's demise. The more I thought about it as I walked along the beach just enjoying the waves crashing on the shore with the two four-legged loves of my life was that I wasn't sad for myself that this was being taken away-though it is a little scary to know my safe place is gone-but rather I was sad for those who are still to come who will not benefit from this site that has been a lifeline for so many people over the past 12 years.
My understanding was the site was to be read only until March 20th and then it would just vanish from the Internet. I haven't looked it up to see that it's really gone-I'm allowing the memory of how the site looked to stay in my brain as a reminder it was once there. It would be too sad to get the error message the page I'm looking for doesn't exist even though I no longer need it to.
Good-bye, YWBB, and thank you for saving my life when I needed it the most.
YWBB quickly became a lifeline for me. It was the only place where there were others who understood exactly how I felt and what I was going through. It was where I could cry and have others cry with me or laugh and not have others think I wasn't grieving "properly." It is also how I found out about Meetup, which is what ultimately led to me starting my own group for young widows and widowers in this area. Mostly in those first months, I stayed in the newly widowed (0-6 months) section but from time to time, I'd venture to the other sections to get a feel for what I could expect down the road. I remember the first time I ventured into the social section and read about someone who was getting remarried-I started crying because I couldn't believe she'd do that to her late husband! Over time, the social section became my "home" and as I read the posts of those I'd gotten to know through the board announcing remarriages, I envisioned the day that post would finally come from me (and I'm still waiting...). I have not only "friended" several members of the board on Facebook, I even watched the wedding of one of them which was streamed live from the chapel in Vegas where the ceremony took place. I can honestly say that will likely be the only wedding I will ever "attend" in my PJs!
As time continued to pass, I found myself feeling less and less a part of the board and eventually I started posting less and less and then I realized I felt I'd outgrown the board and found a new (non-grief related) place to post. But I always knew the YWBB was there if I wanted or needed to go back to visit and whenever a new member joined my Meetup group, I directed them to the site. I don't know how many tens of thousands of people worldwide found this site to be a huge blessing.
On Friday, March 6th, exactly seven years and 1 month after James died, I found out via Facebook the site was being shut down. No reason was given but it was 12 years old and as I'm preparing to step down from organizing my Meetup group after 7 years, I can only imagine how the admins of the site feel after 12! I'm sure they are definitely ready to move on to whatever is next for them. I was at the beach with the dogs when I read the news and my first reaction was "No! You can't take away my lifeline! How do I fix this?!" But the next day, I started to think about how long it had been since I'd even checked in and I couldn't remember. What was being said on Facebook was that the site had become pretty dormant-of course, we all had to speculate on the reason for it's demise. The more I thought about it as I walked along the beach just enjoying the waves crashing on the shore with the two four-legged loves of my life was that I wasn't sad for myself that this was being taken away-though it is a little scary to know my safe place is gone-but rather I was sad for those who are still to come who will not benefit from this site that has been a lifeline for so many people over the past 12 years.
My understanding was the site was to be read only until March 20th and then it would just vanish from the Internet. I haven't looked it up to see that it's really gone-I'm allowing the memory of how the site looked to stay in my brain as a reminder it was once there. It would be too sad to get the error message the page I'm looking for doesn't exist even though I no longer need it to.
Good-bye, YWBB, and thank you for saving my life when I needed it the most.
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Seven Years
February 6th was the seventh anniversary of James's death. Seven years. I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around that. It doesn't feel like it's been that long but then other times it seems as though it's been much longer. Maybe it's more that I don't feel like I'm where I "should" be after seven years. People often tell me they wish I could see myself as they do and that they wish I could see how far I've come since James died. And I wish I could too. I think it would be quite helpful. Maybe one of these days I should try to list out what I've accomplished to help me try to pinpoint why I feel like I'm behind.
But then again, I never made a timeline after he died. In fact, I did the opposite. I stopped planning for the future because it's not guaranteed and I didn't want to be disappointed if I made all these grand plans only to have them yanked out from under me again. I think it drives my best friend nuts because he wants me to work on a life plan. Luckily for him, he doesn't understand that I HAD a life plan and why I'm reluctant to make another. He's still free to make a life plan for himself without hesitation. Without truly understanding it may not come true.
That's not to say there aren't things I want to do in my life, or that I've just been sitting around doing nothing. I've had a pretty busy go of it-especially the last 5 years. In fact, I'm to the point now where I love feeling like I'm one of the cool kids for the first time in my life but I need a timeout. I need to not have a social calendar that is always go, go, go. I need more downtime. A couple of years ago, I would have thought "but there's so much I'm going to miss out on if I slow down!" And now I've turned a corner and think "Eh, there will be other events like that." I'm finding that right now there are things I want to focus on just for me, without doing everything as a group. I love my friends, don't get me wrong - I am very blessed in that way - but I need to spread my own wings and see where it takes me. I need to continue to find comfort in my own skin.
I'm finding that is taking me to some interesting places and this year seems to be the year of "Don't think, just do." So far, that has me taking improv classes, participating in several photography challenges, planning to do a mini indoor triathlon and feeling excited about spending 4 days exploring Atlanta by myself. And it's only February...
I have other goals for this year as well that aren't quite so spontaneous - quite a few of them actually. I have a 3-ring binder that is divided into nine areas of life with my goals in those areas neatly typed out. As the month goes along, I write in my achievements. At the end of the month, I type them up and reprint the goals sheets. I tell myself this is so it looks nice and neat as time goes by. The truth is my handwriting sucks and I want to be able to read what I did in January come December. Plus, in January, I exceeded some of my goals and had to use some of February's space to record them. And I've already made a couple of revisions to the original list.
I call these goals but I guess it can be looked upon that this is my plan for 2015. (It's also pretty much the plan I had for 2013 and 2014; this year it's just more visible unlike 2013 where it was out of sight, out of mind and more protected than 2014 when my hard drive crashed in October and I lost my progress on my goals which furthered the tailspin I had already entered into. I also took dating out of the mix because why set myself up for failure for the third year in a row?).
Maybe I've turned more corners than I thought I have and have made more of a life plan mentally than I realize. My day planner does have a list of long-term plans on it- sort of a "bucket list" if you will. I just haven't gotten to the point of being able to write it all down yet. And maybe what's holding me back from doing that is there's still a part of me that's waiting to go back to February 6, 2008 and have the day end differently.
But then again, I never made a timeline after he died. In fact, I did the opposite. I stopped planning for the future because it's not guaranteed and I didn't want to be disappointed if I made all these grand plans only to have them yanked out from under me again. I think it drives my best friend nuts because he wants me to work on a life plan. Luckily for him, he doesn't understand that I HAD a life plan and why I'm reluctant to make another. He's still free to make a life plan for himself without hesitation. Without truly understanding it may not come true.
That's not to say there aren't things I want to do in my life, or that I've just been sitting around doing nothing. I've had a pretty busy go of it-especially the last 5 years. In fact, I'm to the point now where I love feeling like I'm one of the cool kids for the first time in my life but I need a timeout. I need to not have a social calendar that is always go, go, go. I need more downtime. A couple of years ago, I would have thought "but there's so much I'm going to miss out on if I slow down!" And now I've turned a corner and think "Eh, there will be other events like that." I'm finding that right now there are things I want to focus on just for me, without doing everything as a group. I love my friends, don't get me wrong - I am very blessed in that way - but I need to spread my own wings and see where it takes me. I need to continue to find comfort in my own skin.
I'm finding that is taking me to some interesting places and this year seems to be the year of "Don't think, just do." So far, that has me taking improv classes, participating in several photography challenges, planning to do a mini indoor triathlon and feeling excited about spending 4 days exploring Atlanta by myself. And it's only February...
I have other goals for this year as well that aren't quite so spontaneous - quite a few of them actually. I have a 3-ring binder that is divided into nine areas of life with my goals in those areas neatly typed out. As the month goes along, I write in my achievements. At the end of the month, I type them up and reprint the goals sheets. I tell myself this is so it looks nice and neat as time goes by. The truth is my handwriting sucks and I want to be able to read what I did in January come December. Plus, in January, I exceeded some of my goals and had to use some of February's space to record them. And I've already made a couple of revisions to the original list.
I call these goals but I guess it can be looked upon that this is my plan for 2015. (It's also pretty much the plan I had for 2013 and 2014; this year it's just more visible unlike 2013 where it was out of sight, out of mind and more protected than 2014 when my hard drive crashed in October and I lost my progress on my goals which furthered the tailspin I had already entered into. I also took dating out of the mix because why set myself up for failure for the third year in a row?).
Maybe I've turned more corners than I thought I have and have made more of a life plan mentally than I realize. My day planner does have a list of long-term plans on it- sort of a "bucket list" if you will. I just haven't gotten to the point of being able to write it all down yet. And maybe what's holding me back from doing that is there's still a part of me that's waiting to go back to February 6, 2008 and have the day end differently.
Friday, January 30, 2015
Uproar!
Over the years of being on Facebook, I've had friend requests from people I didn't recognize by name because they were using their married name which I didn't know and didn't also include their maiden name. I either figured out who they are from their pictures or profile information, deduced it from mutual friends or if I still couldn't figure it out, asked a mutual friend what name I would know this person as. I have also seen several friends change their name: either first and middle or if they are married (or divorced and still have his name), their maiden and married initials for a last name. I can think of 3 male friends off the top of my head who are currently not using their real last names so this isn't limited to just the women.
Everyone has their reasons for doing this. One of my guy friends mentioned above created his Facebook account around the time he was looking for a job. One just wants a low online profile. Some do it because they simply want to be harder to find. One of my widowed friends did it because she was having issues with her in-laws so she deleted her account and started over with a new name. Some, I think, just get bored and change it on a whim because they can.
I've never thought it was a big deal to change your name on Facebook, but apparently it is. I discovered this by changing mine. I then posted a picture as part of a daily challenge and immediately someone commented "Wow! You changed your name!" (I wanted to respond to that and ask what they thought about the picture). I had someone else tell me they almost deleted me because they were confused as to who I was. I have noticed someone who normally likes all my posts hasn't liked any since I changed my name. And the best (seriously-I'm not being sarcastic on this one) was a childhood friend I have known since we were 5 (actually, she was my first best friend) sending me a message to ask if everything is okay.
To be honest, I didn't think anyone would even notice and it does feel good that they did and that they want to make sure everything is okay. Although I do suspect one is hoping for some juicy drama. And here is the juicy drama leading to me changing my name:
I am now participating in several groups. In fact, that and messaging are pretty much the primary functions for which I am now using Facebook. (Totally just changed that sentence so I wouldn't end it in a preposition. Go me!). A few of these groups are literally worldwide. I don't know these people personally and I decided as I become more active in these groups, I wanted to be more anonymous with my personal information.
Scandalous, I know.
Everyone has their reasons for doing this. One of my guy friends mentioned above created his Facebook account around the time he was looking for a job. One just wants a low online profile. Some do it because they simply want to be harder to find. One of my widowed friends did it because she was having issues with her in-laws so she deleted her account and started over with a new name. Some, I think, just get bored and change it on a whim because they can.
I've never thought it was a big deal to change your name on Facebook, but apparently it is. I discovered this by changing mine. I then posted a picture as part of a daily challenge and immediately someone commented "Wow! You changed your name!" (I wanted to respond to that and ask what they thought about the picture). I had someone else tell me they almost deleted me because they were confused as to who I was. I have noticed someone who normally likes all my posts hasn't liked any since I changed my name. And the best (seriously-I'm not being sarcastic on this one) was a childhood friend I have known since we were 5 (actually, she was my first best friend) sending me a message to ask if everything is okay.
To be honest, I didn't think anyone would even notice and it does feel good that they did and that they want to make sure everything is okay. Although I do suspect one is hoping for some juicy drama. And here is the juicy drama leading to me changing my name:
I am now participating in several groups. In fact, that and messaging are pretty much the primary functions for which I am now using Facebook. (Totally just changed that sentence so I wouldn't end it in a preposition. Go me!). A few of these groups are literally worldwide. I don't know these people personally and I decided as I become more active in these groups, I wanted to be more anonymous with my personal information.
Scandalous, I know.
Monday, January 12, 2015
Thankful
Every year, I participate in the 30 Days of Gratitude on Facebook, in which I post one thing I'm grateful for every day for the month of November. This year, I didn't do it on Facebook, but rather kept track on a piece of paper which was hanging on my closet door. It's been hanging there ever since, until now, as I need the closet door space for a new challenge.
Here are the things I was grateful for in November 2014:
11/01: A roof over my head.
11/02: A job that pays the bills.
11/03: Not having to worry where my next meal is coming from.
11/04: Having reliable transportation.
11/05: Finally having someone listen when I really needed to talk.
11/06: Having compassion towards towards others.
11/07: Being able to reconnect with old friends.
11/08: The unconditional love of dogs.
11/09: A great turn out for a friend's baby shower.
11/10: Having had Dad in my life for almost 31 years.
11/11: The passage of time easing the hurt of losing loved ones.
11/12: Music.
11/13: Well wishes and check ups/check ins from friends (gum graft surgery).
11/14: Sick days with pay.
11/15: My best friend being here.
11/16: Knowing I want more out of my life.
11/17: Laughter.
11/18: Not having bat shit crazy relatives.
11/19: Being able to stay in touch via social media/technology.
11/20: Food Bank and trivia nights.
11/21: Not having to be anywhere on a dark and rainy night.
11/22: Having a bucket list to cross things off of.
11/23: Family-both biological and the one I created for myself.
11/24: Easy access to books.
11/25: Blessings in disguise. (Dentist appt being moved to Gresham meaning I didn't have to drive to Lloyd Center on the busiest day of the year).
11/26: Aloe infused socks and Benadryl.
11/27: Wanting to embrace the holidays again.
11/28: Weekend getaways.
11/29: Knowing that some times, it's okay to cry.
11/30: Not having to drive home (from Everett) in the snow.
Here are the things I was grateful for in November 2014:
11/01: A roof over my head.
11/02: A job that pays the bills.
11/03: Not having to worry where my next meal is coming from.
11/04: Having reliable transportation.
11/05: Finally having someone listen when I really needed to talk.
11/06: Having compassion towards towards others.
11/07: Being able to reconnect with old friends.
11/08: The unconditional love of dogs.
11/09: A great turn out for a friend's baby shower.
11/10: Having had Dad in my life for almost 31 years.
11/11: The passage of time easing the hurt of losing loved ones.
11/12: Music.
11/13: Well wishes and check ups/check ins from friends (gum graft surgery).
11/14: Sick days with pay.
11/15: My best friend being here.
11/16: Knowing I want more out of my life.
11/17: Laughter.
11/18: Not having bat shit crazy relatives.
11/19: Being able to stay in touch via social media/technology.
11/20: Food Bank and trivia nights.
11/21: Not having to be anywhere on a dark and rainy night.
11/22: Having a bucket list to cross things off of.
11/23: Family-both biological and the one I created for myself.
11/24: Easy access to books.
11/25: Blessings in disguise. (Dentist appt being moved to Gresham meaning I didn't have to drive to Lloyd Center on the busiest day of the year).
11/26: Aloe infused socks and Benadryl.
11/27: Wanting to embrace the holidays again.
11/28: Weekend getaways.
11/29: Knowing that some times, it's okay to cry.
11/30: Not having to drive home (from Everett) in the snow.
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