Monday, April 20, 2015

PDX Metro Girl Documents HER Experience on Ok Cupid! for Seven Days

I have been on and off various online dating sites for about 5 years now.  The amount of time I have spent on them has varied:  at first, I realized I wasn't as ready to date as I thought I was following James's death and closed my accounts quickly.  Then, I was just plain discouraged as I found online dating to be hard on the ego.  Turns out you need a really thick skin to do it, and I don't have one that is thick enough.

My last stint on Ok Cupid! was about this time last year and it lasted for six months before it got too depressing and I disabled my account.  From that experience, however, I did have my first (and only) date with a guy I "met" online (a guy with whom I initiated contact).  So that in itself was progress.

I think part of the reason I've had short stints on the sites is because it doesn't feel like a natural way to meet someone - it doesn't feel like it's how I'm supposed to meet someone.  I firmly believe you meet someone when you aren't looking and least expect it and online dating is definitely looking.  So I've had the mindset it isn't going to work; being rejected by both and eHarmony the first time I tried them felt like a sign this isn't the right path for me.  And my results would seem to support that theory in that I get very few profile views and even fewer messages. 

But lately I've been thinking of giving Ok Cupid! another go despite the definition of insanity being doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.  Then I read the series of articles by Thought Catalog contributor Chris Backley on his experience with Ok Cupid! where once again, popular theory is pointed out that if you are a woman, all you have to do is create a profile and you are flooded with messages.  After reading the whole series of his week, I decided I'd reactivate my profile and document my own first seven days. 


I already have a profile created but since it didn't get me much action the last time around, I enlisted the help of four friends (two female, two male)  to help me select my pictures.  Three of them got back to me.  All were in agreement on the same picture so clearly, that was the one I selected for my main picture.  There was only one other in which two of my friends agreed so I used that one as well.  Between the three of them, they chose 13 pictures.  Feeling that was a bit overkill (and having Googled how many pictures was ideal), I narrowed it down to nine that I felt were a good representation of my life and met the core requirements of profile pictures: recent, show my activities and personality, show that I do get some exercise and I don't weigh 300 lbs, and of course, show a close up of my face so men can decide if I'm hot or not.  After all, it's well known that pictures are key when it comes to online dating. 

Stay tuned for Day One...

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