Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Seven Days of Ok Cupid: Days 5-7

Going into Day 5, I couldn't remember if weekends had more activity or less.  For me, it was less.  On Day 5, which was a Friday, I emailed two of my intended 4 men during the day and planned to email the other two when I got home.  And then I completely forgot about it.  And then when I remembered, I decided I didn't care. 

For Day 5, I had a total three profile views and received no messages.  Ooh, they are really rolling in now!  However, Friday evening, I did get a message from one of the men I had emailed earlier in the day.  He is currently separated with a divorce that is dragging on.  His profile said he is looking for friends because he is already dating someone and it's getting serious.  He has since removed that from his profile, but is still legally married and that's a road I usually refuse to go down. 

Going into Day 6, I was now behind on my goal of emailing 25 men.  But, there is no rest for the weary and I had a very busy day with photography group, volunteering for Comcast Cares Day (now there's an oxymoron if I ever heard one!) and attending a fundraiser.  Unrelated to Ok Cupid, I have decided I like to attend fundraisers as a volunteer rather than a guest because as a volunteer, afterward, I get the opportunity to tell the organization all the things I think they could have done better.  You don't get to do that as a guest.  Anyway, back to Ok Cupid.  By the time I got home for the day, I really just wanted to go to bed so I didn't bother to get online.  Not that there was anything waiting for me, as I only had one profile view and no messages all day. 

Day 7 was similar to Day 6 in that my morning was tied up with frantic house cleaning (my original plan for Saturday night until I was asked at the last minute to attend the the fundraiser) and then hosting a clothing swap.  My afternoon was spent doing laundry and catching up on some personal finance "stuff."  My evening was spent working on a jigsaw puzzle and binge watching TV while binge eating leftover Costco muffins from the clothing swap.  Is there anything better than a slightly frozen, apple oat-strudelly muffin from Costco?? (Well, maybe a slightly frozen blueberry muffin from Costco).  I could have gone online and emailed the remaining nine men to get me to my goal of 25, but why bother?  Day 7 I received four profile views and one message ("Hi  how are you doing? ?") from a guy who may or may not be real.

My conversation with Day 1 Guy has fizzled out; it appears my conversation with Married Guy is fizzling too.  He did ask if I wanted to meet for a beverage, but with his work schedule can only meet after 9:30 at night, which is a bit too late for me.  (And possibly code for "booty call").  He also potentially lives about an hour away.  But then again, with as bad as Portland traffic is getting, someone who only lives 20 miles from me can also live about an hour away. 

Today is Day 10.  I realized this morning as I was getting ready for work that with my two conversations fizzling out, I don't have to check the site anymore.  That's a bit of a relief as I have definitely seen a downturn in my mood since I logged back in.  I don't like the level of negativity I'm allowing this to bring to my life.  I don't like how it plays into my fears and insecurities of growing old alone.  I don't like how much time I'm devoting to it for no results.  Thirteen of the men I emailed have read the message I sent them; only two - Day 1 Guy and Married Guy - responded back to me.  There are definitely better, happier things I can be doing with my time. I accomplished what I set out to do:  I proved that not all women are flooded with "hundreds" of messages everyday.  Sometimes, it sucks to be right.

Day 10 goal:  make a note to turn off the A-list subscription setting before it automatically renews and disable my account again after the 30 days I paid for are up.

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