There's a long-standing saying, joke, I'm not sure what to call it, about meeting the love of your life in the produce aisle at the grocery store. (Although according to a recent Question of the Day on the morning news, 40% of single people say that Starbucks is the place to meet someone. I either go to the wrong Starbucks or go at the wrong time. Or the men in this town didn't get the memo. Or they just plain don't exist, which is a strong possibility). This poses a problem for me. As I've pretty much stopped cooking, I don't spend a lot of time at the grocery store these days.
However, I do need the occasional loaf of bread and quart of milk (so I can make Chai Tea lattes at home, further diminishing my hopes of meeting MH #2 at any of the three Starbucks found along my 4.5 mile commute to work). And I have made some observations:
1) Seemingly single men (meaning no wedding ring) do actually go to the grocery store and they prefer WinCo.
2) The best time to find seemingly single men at the grocery store seems to be around 4:00 on Tuesdays or Thursdays. (Which makes me wonder-don't these guys have jobs? Or do they just get off work early like I do?)
3) There is a fine line between looking like you are shopping for the same things as someone and outright following them around the store.
4) There is a direct correlation between the number of cute seemingly single men shopping and how bad of a hair day I am having. It is not positive.
5) There are a lot of things at WinCo priced at $1.29.
6) They do in fact have guacamole. It's just in a really stupid, illogical place. Kind of like graham crackers and canned mushrooms in other stores.
7) The produce at WinCo is hit and miss. I mean the fruits and vegetables-although this can also apply to the seemingly single men.
8) Seemingly single men being friends with Produce Aisle Store Employee is not a good thing. Especially if Produce Aisle Store Employee is chatty.
9) People can take an amazingly long time to open the door, pick up a carton of milk, inspect the expiration date, put it in their carts, close the door and move. Seriously, this is not rocket science. I think three seemingly single men got away in the time it took the two women in front of me to get their milk.
10) Seemingly single men do not seem to buy ice cream, so the only "men" I end up going home with are my good pals Ben and Jerry. If I ever build a store, the ice cream and the produce are so totally going to live closer together.