Tuesday, September 27, 2011

History Repeating Itself?

Shortly after I moved here, I joined a bowling league.  I like to bowl and thought it would help me to get out of the apartment and would help me to meet people.  In other words, the Culligan water delivery guy at work was cute and needed a girl to round out his team.  Shortly after that, he hurt his back, couldn't bowl and I never saw him again.  I ended up bowling with the league for two seasons. 

The second season ended in the spring of 1998.  The teams were supposed to have four members but our team was short by two for most of the season.  There was another girl in the league who was loosing her team and we decided we'd team up for the next season.  I agreed to go out with her one Friday night right after that second season ended.  I didn't really want to go; I'm not a bar person, but I thought it was a good idea to get to know the girl that was supposed to be on my bowling team the next year a little better.  It was on this night that I met R1.  (I didn't bowl the next season-never heard from the other girl again).

By the time that night was over, I was very much the smitten kitten.  Our first date was two days later-it lasted for eight hours.  We ended up dating for a couple of months but it wasn't smooth sailing.  I liked him a lot more than he liked me; ultimately, he decided that he missed being a step-father to his ex-wife's kids so much he was going to try to win her back despite the fact she was living with her new boyfriend.  He'd agreed to help me move into my new apartment, however, and since I had no one else to turn to, I did call him on it.  The last time I saw him was in November of 1998-six months after we first met.

After that, I became addicted to AOL chat rooms-basically, the 1998 equivalent of online dating.  I did go out on a few dates as a result of this but nothing ever went past the first date.  I eventually gave up on this when the last date didn't happen-the guy met me, went out "to get his coat" and I never saw or heard from him again.  This, of course, was around the time my dad asked what was so wrong with me I couldn't attract a man. I was convinced I'd never meet anyone-that I was destined to be alone for my entire life.  Not happy here, I decided to rejoin my college friends and move back to Idaho.

Thirteen months after I last saw R1, I was in the process of moving back to Idaho when I met James in December of 1999, who was in the process of moving back to Sacramento.  He was nothing like what I thought I was looking for but neither of us moved.  Instead, we had 8 years, 1 month and 6 days together and were planning for many, many more when he died of a heart attack while driving home from work on February 6, 2008.

In April of 2010, I went out on a Friday night that I didn't want to go out on.  I'm not a bar person but a couple of my friends were going to be there and I hadn't seen them in a while and I wanted to see them.  And I met R2 (aka No Longer New Guy).  By the end of the night, he asked for my number and I hoped he'd call.  He did the requisite wait three days to call thing; our first date was 9 days after we first met.  It wasn't an easy road-I really shouldn't have gone out on a third date with him, let alone let it drag on (and off) for as long as it did.  The last time I (purposely) saw R2 was five months after we first met.  (The last time I saw him was Friday.  Definitely not on purpose).

Since then, I've become addicted to online dating.  I've been on eHarmony, Match twice and Ok Cupid twice.  All my "dates" have been with male friends.  Having no luck, I'm having a hard time not believing James was my one shot and I'm done.  That I'll be alone for the rest of my life.  I don't plan to move this time, however; my life is here.

The last time I (purposely) saw R2 was a year ago last Sunday.  I've always thought it was interesting the last guy I dated before and the first guy after James were both named R and I dated them for about the same amount of time and that I had no luck with dating after both of them.  Maybe this is why I keep feeling like there is something good coming and it's right around the corner.  If history is repeating itself, my first date with MH #2 will be right around Halloween.  Fitting it would be around a holiday.  My first date with James was New Year's Eve.

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