Review: Spoiler Alert: The Hero Dies: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Other Four-Letter Words

Spoiler Alert: The Hero Dies: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Other Four-Letter Words by Michael Ausiello
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

After my recent rash of murder mysteries, I decided I was in the mood for something non-fiction. So I started down my TBR list and after putting several books on hold, I came to this one which lo and behold was actually available to be checked out. I couldn't remember what it was about or how I heard of it (Book Bub "Deal of the Day" email) but the quirky title caught my attention and that was good enough for me to proceed.

Maybe I should have refreshed my memory before checking it out. But as I've mentioned before, the right book always seems to come to me at the right time and this was no exception as I recently sold the house I shared with my late love and our two now also deceased cocker spaniels and it's been a bit of a rough transition.

In this simultaneously hysterical and heartbreaking memoir, TV journalist Michael Ausiello recounts meeting the love of his life and their 13+ year romance that ended with Kit's untimely passing in his early 40's from a rare and aggressive form of neuro-endocrine cancer.

Being a long time soap opera fan in an earlier phase of life, as well as a fan of TV Guide and Entertainment Weekly, I am sure I read Ausiello's columns somewhere along the way. But the name didn't ring a bell with me - not a requirement I have for reading (or listening to) memoirs. By the end of the third chapter, as I listened to him tell about his first date with Kit and then backtrack to their initial meeting, I wanted to write to him and ask him to be my new friend - he is hysterical! (As the title says - he does use a lot of "other" four letter words!)

And then came the hard part: the diagnosis and subsequent 11 months that would be Kit's last. Alternating from what can best be called present day, for lack of a better word, and stories from along their relationship, their story managed to be funny, poignant and heartbreaking at the same time - I found their "crush" on Sloan Kettering to be amusing amidst my tears in hearing the heartbreak in Ausiello's voice as he recounted what they went through both before and after the diagnosis.

A lot of times after the death of a loved one, especially a young person, we tend to glorify them. Ausiello does not do this. Well, he does. But he balances out the good with the bad: he honestly tells his readers they were not perfect as people or as a couple. And he pretty much covers all the bases with sass and at times with what seemed to be a noticeable quiver in his voice.

I was close to the end of the book when I met a fellow member of the young widowed club for dinner and couldn't resist telling him about it, telling him I don't yet know how this book is helping me but I know it is. Who knows, it may never be obvious just what this book did for me or it may not even happen right away, but for whatever it turns out to be, I thank Ausiello for choosing to tell his story.

The very ending (epilogue, if you will) was hard to listen to and left me sitting in a parking lot sobbing my eyes out. I understand why he chose to end the book the way he did - with the happy ending cancer denied both he and Kit but it really did break my heart and once again had me wondering what would my future have looked like if it hadn't been for untimely and unexpected heart disease?

I'm sorry Ausiello is a fellow member of "The Club No One Wants to Belong to." It's a shitty club with a cost of admission that is way too high and hard to bear. (But also has some seriously awesome people among it's brothers and sisters). I wish I can tell him it doesn't necessarily get better - it just gets "different" and becomes more bearable over time. And I still wish that he and I could be friends because he seems like he would be an amazing one to have.

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