I am truly blessed by the love and support of my family and friends. Those closest to me knew that last week, and especially yesterday, was going to be very hard for me to get through. But, here it is Sunday morning and I am still standing.
I made sure to keep myself pretty busy last week, mostly so I wouldn't have so much time to think and feel, although the busyness did not stop the feelings, as was evidenced by my complete and total sobbing meltdown on Tuesday. That was when I realized I could not get through this past week alone and as hard as it was, I reached out for help.
My best friend and another dear friend do not live in this area. But, despite being extremely busy at work, they e-mailed me as often as they could to make sure I was okay. My best sent an eCard and called first thing yesterday morning. My fellow widows and widowers offered online hugs and words of support, as did members of an online group I joined shortly after meeting James. My aunt sent me a very beautiful arrangement of roses and carnations. I came home yesterday to find messages from my dear friend and my new friends Pete, a co-worker of James, and his wife Stephanie, just letting me know they were thinking of me.
Friday, my dear friend and her son took me to dinner and then to Goodwill to try to find the clothes I will need to be Ugly Betty for Halloween this year. I didn't find my costume, but I did find a very nice, brand new (with the tags) $100 Coldwater Creek sweater for $20. Major score there. After that we raided Fred Meyer's jigsaw puzzle section. They were on sale, and we each left with 3. After a not-so-quick run through the Starbucks drive-thru, we went back to her place and stayed up way too late working on one of her new puzzles. She is a dear freind of mine and her husband was James' best friend, so she is the person I most feel I can talk ad nausem about James to.
Yesterday, another dear friend met me at our usual meeting spot and we headed into Portland to the Japanese Gardens. She would have been one of my bridal peeps. When James and I bought this house, we had a hot tub. It was an older model and after each repair just led to another repair, we finally decided to get rid of it. We threw some ideas around for the now empty space and James said he would like to put a Japanese Garden in that spot. So, that is what I am going to do and decided yesterday would be the perfect day to go to the Japanese Gardens and so what exactly goes into one.
After the Gardens, we went to the zoo, since it was only a couple of miles away. Sadly, the monkeys and meerkats weren't out, but it was still fun. I love the zoo, and have been there several times, so it's not like I have never seen them. All the animals seemed to have their back ends to us though, which did make picture taking a little challenging!
We then headed to the Cheesecake Factory. I had a gift card (yes, I know. Shocking). and the only Cheesecake Factory is about 30 miles from my house, but was only about 10 miles from the zoo. My mom had sent me the gift card along with one for Barnes and Noble a long time ago thinking that my friend and I could use the B&N card to get wedding books and then go look them over while eating cheesecake, so there was some irony there. It takes a bowl of soup and 3 slices of cheesecake to use up a $25 gift card. I was having a hard time deciding between 3 flavors, so when the server told us that, my decision was made.
We then headed to Border's, which is a very dangerous place for me to be. Despite having a huge stack of books to be read, I can always find something in there that I HAVE to have. Yesterday was no exception. I got a book and a DVD and 3 Lindor truffles because in my world it is against the law to go to Borders (or Michaels) and not get 3 Lindor truffles.
Today I plan to just relax and catch up on my shows and work on a puzzle. I was gone so much last week that I need to spend the day with my boys. Charlie is curled up on the chair behind me and Sammy is streched out behind the chair. They need to see that I still love them.
Granted, I would still much rather be in California this morning, or on a plane to the east coast for my honeymoon, but I am very thankful for and overwhelmed by all the love in my life.