One of my co-workers had a project that needed to be done today. It was not one she could finish herself and she couldn't pull the guys in the warehouse away from what they were doing to work on it. So all of us girls in the office, except one who had to answer the phones, trooped out to the warehouse to help her get it done. Working together, it took us a little over an hour to finish it.
I love that I work for a company in which everyone is willing to do things out of their job descriptions to help each other in a pinch. I have not always had this experience so it is a nice change of pace. It was also a nice change of pace to step away from my desk and do something different for a little while. And since it was so cold in the warehouse for the first time in months my office actually felt warm this afternoon!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Monday, March 1, 2010
The people in my path
On July 4, 2008, I started a Meetup group for young widows and widowers. In November, a widower joined the group. Not long after we met, we started "talking" in a chatroom associated with a website for young widows and widowers. It did not take long for a friendship to form.
Around the same time my widower friend joined our group, he also joined a hiking group. It is an "urban" hiking group, with walks around the Portland area. Once a month, the organizer of the group plans a very easy hike and my widower friend invited me to join him for the easy walk in January 2009. I wasn't sure about this whole hiking business, so I went as a guest of my friend. It was a nice walk around a neighborhood I hadn't explored and I enjoyed it. I ended up going on a more strenuous walk with the group a few weeks later, also as a guest of my friend, and ultimately ended up joining the group.
Not long after I joined, I went on my first hike alone-meaning I didn't have my friend there; I didn't have the comfort of having the one person I knew from the group there with me. It was a night hike-another first for me. I ended up meeting a guy on the hike who seemed nice enough and in one of my "finer" moments, felt the need to tell him my life story. That was in May 2009 and the last time our paths crossed on a hike, but not the last time our paths were meant to cross.
In September 2009, the guy I met on that night hike started the "fun" Meetup group. Nine days after he created it, I was browsing the groups in my area and thought the description of his group was exactly what I was looking for (it was) and I joined the group. I didn't run into him again until we did a volunteer project together at the end of October. I was nervous wondering if he would remember me and was relieved when he saw me and asked if I remembered him.
As I have become more active in this group over the last couple of months, I have met a lot of new people and am getting to the point where I am starting to see some of the same faces again and again. I have also been doing a bit too much and am a bit burnt out at work, so I have been thinking about taking a day off. (I also thought if I had a day off to look forward to, I would be more inclined to actually do my job as I have been totally unmotivated lately). I thought if it was a nice day that I took off, I might see if I could find someone who might be interested in going on a short hike with me.
Since I have a hike in mind, I was looking through the past events on the calendar for the hiking group to see if I could find the information for it. When I pulled it up, I was surprised to see a couple of members of the "fun" group on the list of people who had attended. This got me wondering, so I went back and looked at all the hikes I have done with the hiking group and sure enough, each one of them had at least one member of the "fun" group in the attendee list; people I didn't know from Adam (Eve?) at the time but now see on a regular basis.
I guess these are people who I was meant to meet or our paths wouldn't keep crossing. And it makes me wonder-who else have I already crossed paths with and just don't realize it (yeah, I know) and who else has yet to cross my path?
Around the same time my widower friend joined our group, he also joined a hiking group. It is an "urban" hiking group, with walks around the Portland area. Once a month, the organizer of the group plans a very easy hike and my widower friend invited me to join him for the easy walk in January 2009. I wasn't sure about this whole hiking business, so I went as a guest of my friend. It was a nice walk around a neighborhood I hadn't explored and I enjoyed it. I ended up going on a more strenuous walk with the group a few weeks later, also as a guest of my friend, and ultimately ended up joining the group.
Not long after I joined, I went on my first hike alone-meaning I didn't have my friend there; I didn't have the comfort of having the one person I knew from the group there with me. It was a night hike-another first for me. I ended up meeting a guy on the hike who seemed nice enough and in one of my "finer" moments, felt the need to tell him my life story. That was in May 2009 and the last time our paths crossed on a hike, but not the last time our paths were meant to cross.
In September 2009, the guy I met on that night hike started the "fun" Meetup group. Nine days after he created it, I was browsing the groups in my area and thought the description of his group was exactly what I was looking for (it was) and I joined the group. I didn't run into him again until we did a volunteer project together at the end of October. I was nervous wondering if he would remember me and was relieved when he saw me and asked if I remembered him.
As I have become more active in this group over the last couple of months, I have met a lot of new people and am getting to the point where I am starting to see some of the same faces again and again. I have also been doing a bit too much and am a bit burnt out at work, so I have been thinking about taking a day off. (I also thought if I had a day off to look forward to, I would be more inclined to actually do my job as I have been totally unmotivated lately). I thought if it was a nice day that I took off, I might see if I could find someone who might be interested in going on a short hike with me.
Since I have a hike in mind, I was looking through the past events on the calendar for the hiking group to see if I could find the information for it. When I pulled it up, I was surprised to see a couple of members of the "fun" group on the list of people who had attended. This got me wondering, so I went back and looked at all the hikes I have done with the hiking group and sure enough, each one of them had at least one member of the "fun" group in the attendee list; people I didn't know from Adam (Eve?) at the time but now see on a regular basis.
I guess these are people who I was meant to meet or our paths wouldn't keep crossing. And it makes me wonder-who else have I already crossed paths with and just don't realize it (yeah, I know) and who else has yet to cross my path?
Another Step Taken
When James and I moved in together, we decided on a "his, hers and ours" approach to finance, which worked very well for us. We each had our own (existing) accounts for personal bills and spending money and we opened a joint account for household expenses, with each of us contributing equally to this account.
When we moved to Arizona, the bank my account was with did not have much of a presence. They were there, but the branches were few and far between, which did not work well for someone who didn't know the area and is directionally challenged, to say the least. So despite being happy with my bank, I decided to switch to one that was more convenient.
When I opened my new account, even though it was MY account, I set it up as a joint account. My reasoning for this was because if anything ever happened to me, I wanted James to be able to access it. He never touched the account; it was just a safeguard I put in place so there was no question about ownership had something happened to me.
I ordered new checks right before James died-they arrived within the first week of his death. I decided I would just leave him on the account so I didn't have to turn around and order new checks when I just got new checks. It's very odd the way your brain works in the early stages of grief. With everything else going on around me, I was concerned about wasting a box of perfectly good checks.
I didn't count on it taking 2 years to use all the checks but I am at the point where I need to order new ones. So I made the decision to take James off the account (some would say "finally," I'm sure. Well, when their spouse dies they can do it the next day).
Saturday morning I stopped at the bank armed with a death certificate. I don't know what I expected, but it was a pretty straightforward process. The account specialist called the main office to see what he needed to do, took a copy of the death certificate, and had me sign a new signature card. And just like that, James no longer exists on my account. Just another aspect of life from which he has been erased.
I did this transaction without emotion. Lack of showers brings early flowers and Saturday I was miserable with allergies (damn birch trees. Seriously, who the heck is off the charts allergic to birch trees of all things? Well, besides me). Thanks to the complete and totally energy drain from the allergies, I didn't have the strength to feel any emotion other than a longing for my bed. Today I just feel numb. I know it's done, that I've taken another healing step, but I don't think it is really going to hit me until I get my new checks with just my name on them.
When we moved to Arizona, the bank my account was with did not have much of a presence. They were there, but the branches were few and far between, which did not work well for someone who didn't know the area and is directionally challenged, to say the least. So despite being happy with my bank, I decided to switch to one that was more convenient.
When I opened my new account, even though it was MY account, I set it up as a joint account. My reasoning for this was because if anything ever happened to me, I wanted James to be able to access it. He never touched the account; it was just a safeguard I put in place so there was no question about ownership had something happened to me.
I ordered new checks right before James died-they arrived within the first week of his death. I decided I would just leave him on the account so I didn't have to turn around and order new checks when I just got new checks. It's very odd the way your brain works in the early stages of grief. With everything else going on around me, I was concerned about wasting a box of perfectly good checks.
I didn't count on it taking 2 years to use all the checks but I am at the point where I need to order new ones. So I made the decision to take James off the account (some would say "finally," I'm sure. Well, when their spouse dies they can do it the next day).
Saturday morning I stopped at the bank armed with a death certificate. I don't know what I expected, but it was a pretty straightforward process. The account specialist called the main office to see what he needed to do, took a copy of the death certificate, and had me sign a new signature card. And just like that, James no longer exists on my account. Just another aspect of life from which he has been erased.
I did this transaction without emotion. Lack of showers brings early flowers and Saturday I was miserable with allergies (damn birch trees. Seriously, who the heck is off the charts allergic to birch trees of all things? Well, besides me). Thanks to the complete and totally energy drain from the allergies, I didn't have the strength to feel any emotion other than a longing for my bed. Today I just feel numb. I know it's done, that I've taken another healing step, but I don't think it is really going to hit me until I get my new checks with just my name on them.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Looking forward to what exactly?
On Friday, my co-worker made the comment that I seemed a little down. I told her I was just tired-not so much physically tired, but more like bored tired. She asked how I could be bored when I am the busiest person she knows. I told her maybe unfulfilled was a better word.
I have been thinking about this the last couple of days. I know I am not the only one to struggle with wondering what their purpose in life is. But in addition to that, I am wondering what I am looking forward to in life. I don't have kids. I don't get to see them learn new things. I don't get to look forward to watching them graduate from high school and college. I don't get to look forward to seeing them get their first jobs. I don't get to look forward to the day they tell me they are getting married or they are expecting their first child. I don't get to look forward to one day spoiling my grandkids and traveling with my husband after we are retired.
My kids are dogs. Their lives are already half over. I get to look forward to losing them long before I'm ready and having to decide when it's time to end their suffering-alone. A decision James was supposed to be here to help with. This is certainly not something I am looking forward to. The tears are falling just thinking about it.
I get to look forward to going out and doing things with the Meetup group and then coming home to an empty house that is much too big for just one person. I get to look forward to watching others around me in the group pair off. I get to look forward to crossing potential dates off the list when I find out they aren't interested. Who can blame them for not wanting to date a 36-year-old widow when there's all these perky 20- and early-30-somethings running around? At a recent event, a guy my age said he's looking for a 25-year-old and won't go over 32. Men my age aren't looking for women my age. Men my father's age are and I'm sorry, but eeww! I had a father. I don't want or need another one.
I can pick up new hobbies; I can abandon old ones. I can go out every night of the week and twice on Sundays. But it isn't enough. I just want to feel like I have something to look forward to. That there's something waiting for me other than this. I want my life to feel full again. Yes, I am having fun getting out and doing things with the group, but I need more.
I have been thinking about this the last couple of days. I know I am not the only one to struggle with wondering what their purpose in life is. But in addition to that, I am wondering what I am looking forward to in life. I don't have kids. I don't get to see them learn new things. I don't get to look forward to watching them graduate from high school and college. I don't get to look forward to seeing them get their first jobs. I don't get to look forward to the day they tell me they are getting married or they are expecting their first child. I don't get to look forward to one day spoiling my grandkids and traveling with my husband after we are retired.
My kids are dogs. Their lives are already half over. I get to look forward to losing them long before I'm ready and having to decide when it's time to end their suffering-alone. A decision James was supposed to be here to help with. This is certainly not something I am looking forward to. The tears are falling just thinking about it.
I get to look forward to going out and doing things with the Meetup group and then coming home to an empty house that is much too big for just one person. I get to look forward to watching others around me in the group pair off. I get to look forward to crossing potential dates off the list when I find out they aren't interested. Who can blame them for not wanting to date a 36-year-old widow when there's all these perky 20- and early-30-somethings running around? At a recent event, a guy my age said he's looking for a 25-year-old and won't go over 32. Men my age aren't looking for women my age. Men my father's age are and I'm sorry, but eeww! I had a father. I don't want or need another one.
I can pick up new hobbies; I can abandon old ones. I can go out every night of the week and twice on Sundays. But it isn't enough. I just want to feel like I have something to look forward to. That there's something waiting for me other than this. I want my life to feel full again. Yes, I am having fun getting out and doing things with the group, but I need more.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Eulogy
James' family lives in California. Most of his friends live here and my family is scattered across the country. When he died it was up to me to make the funeral arrangements. His mother is not in the best of health (which may be the understatement of the month) and cannot fly nor should she endure long road trips. Obviously, she needed to be at her son's funeral. Having the funeral in California, however, meant the majority of his friends would not get their chance to say good-bye. Ultimately I decided to hold two services: one in California and one here. Because his brother was stationed in Iraq at the time, the California service had to be planned around the Air Force bringing him home. It worked out so that funeral was first. I know I got up and said something; I couldn't tell you what I said if my life depended on it. It was completely on the fly.
For the funeral here, I felt I needed to give James a properly eulogy. I was told I didn't have to be the one to do it, but for myself, I needed to do it. I needed to say good-bye to James and I needed to say good-bye for James. Two years ago today, I delivered these words to my family and friends-our friends, his friends and my friends who came to offer their support to me:
"Thank you all for being here today. I know that two weeks ago, this was certainly the last thing we all thought we would be doing today. James touched so many lives wherever he went. Unfortunately, when someone dies so suddenly, they don't get the chance to say what was in their hearts; they don't get to say good-bye to those that mattered most to them.
Jay-as you know, I have referred to you as the mistress for about 2 years now. There were days he would talk to you more than me. And I could always tell when he was talking to you because if you weren't discussing WoW, he was laughing about something. You were one of his closest friends. He was always laughing about something you said or something your kids did. He admired and respected you and really wanted you to be his 3rd groomsman in our wedding. He was looking forward to you meeting Jason and knew our reception couldn't be anything but a good time with the three of you together. I, on the other hand, was pretty sure the three of you would end up in jail. But you probably would have turned even that into a good time.
Jason- you were so much more than his best friend. You were a brother to him. You were his best man. Until I found out you weren't the same age, I was convinced you were separated at birth. I don't know two other people who could have such meaningful conversations about such random topics as you did. I know a lot of his best times were spent with you and I am not really sure how there are places you two were never banned from. I was concerned he wasn't happy when me moved back from Arizona-he assured me he was and a lot of that was because he loved that he got to hang out with you again. He loved you so much.
I can picture James standing wherever he is looking around and saying "well, this is certainly less than ideal." And I have to agree it certainly is that. But I can honestly say that while he did not die on his terms-he planned to live until he was 80-he lived life on his terms. I hope that you can find some comfort, as I have, in knowing that with the type of heart attack he had, he did not suffer; did not feel pain in his last moments.
James loved life. He loved to get into his car and drive, he loved to sing and read. He loved to watch his beloved Steelers. He was developing a real passion for photography, yet hated to have his own picture taken. He loved to laugh and could find humor in almost any situation. He greatly enjoyed World of Warcraft. I don't know that is was so much the game he loved or the opportunity it gave him to stay connected to his friends from Arizona. He was fiercely loyal and protective of those he loved the most and would do anything for them in a heartbeat. James was one of the most patient people I have ever met. There were times that I just wanted him to get riled up too, but over time, he taught me to be a more patient person. He had a way of bringing out the best in people.
When James decided he wanted something, he went for it but not before thoroughly researching all his options. We researched dog breeds for 6 months before deciding that cocker spaniels would be the best fit for us, and he really loved our boys. When he decided to trade in his Eclipse, he test drove 17 cars. In one weekend. Some of them, he never seriously considered buying. He just drove them because he could.
James was by far the best thing to ever happen in my life. It did not take long for me to realize I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. For seven years, he told me that he never planned to get married, so no one was more surprised than I when he proposed. When he did, he asked if I would consider marrying him, so I wasn't sure if he was really asking or if I was just supposed to think about it. I could not wait to be his wife; it was the one thing I wanted more than anything. He was such a loving an accepting man. I am fortunate to have had 8 wonderful years with him.
We have all heard that the good die young. In this case, it is certainly true. James was one of a kind-he was the absolute best."
For the funeral here, I felt I needed to give James a properly eulogy. I was told I didn't have to be the one to do it, but for myself, I needed to do it. I needed to say good-bye to James and I needed to say good-bye for James. Two years ago today, I delivered these words to my family and friends-our friends, his friends and my friends who came to offer their support to me:
"Thank you all for being here today. I know that two weeks ago, this was certainly the last thing we all thought we would be doing today. James touched so many lives wherever he went. Unfortunately, when someone dies so suddenly, they don't get the chance to say what was in their hearts; they don't get to say good-bye to those that mattered most to them.
Jay-as you know, I have referred to you as the mistress for about 2 years now. There were days he would talk to you more than me. And I could always tell when he was talking to you because if you weren't discussing WoW, he was laughing about something. You were one of his closest friends. He was always laughing about something you said or something your kids did. He admired and respected you and really wanted you to be his 3rd groomsman in our wedding. He was looking forward to you meeting Jason and knew our reception couldn't be anything but a good time with the three of you together. I, on the other hand, was pretty sure the three of you would end up in jail. But you probably would have turned even that into a good time.
Jason- you were so much more than his best friend. You were a brother to him. You were his best man. Until I found out you weren't the same age, I was convinced you were separated at birth. I don't know two other people who could have such meaningful conversations about such random topics as you did. I know a lot of his best times were spent with you and I am not really sure how there are places you two were never banned from. I was concerned he wasn't happy when me moved back from Arizona-he assured me he was and a lot of that was because he loved that he got to hang out with you again. He loved you so much.
I can picture James standing wherever he is looking around and saying "well, this is certainly less than ideal." And I have to agree it certainly is that. But I can honestly say that while he did not die on his terms-he planned to live until he was 80-he lived life on his terms. I hope that you can find some comfort, as I have, in knowing that with the type of heart attack he had, he did not suffer; did not feel pain in his last moments.
James loved life. He loved to get into his car and drive, he loved to sing and read. He loved to watch his beloved Steelers. He was developing a real passion for photography, yet hated to have his own picture taken. He loved to laugh and could find humor in almost any situation. He greatly enjoyed World of Warcraft. I don't know that is was so much the game he loved or the opportunity it gave him to stay connected to his friends from Arizona. He was fiercely loyal and protective of those he loved the most and would do anything for them in a heartbeat. James was one of the most patient people I have ever met. There were times that I just wanted him to get riled up too, but over time, he taught me to be a more patient person. He had a way of bringing out the best in people.
When James decided he wanted something, he went for it but not before thoroughly researching all his options. We researched dog breeds for 6 months before deciding that cocker spaniels would be the best fit for us, and he really loved our boys. When he decided to trade in his Eclipse, he test drove 17 cars. In one weekend. Some of them, he never seriously considered buying. He just drove them because he could.
James was by far the best thing to ever happen in my life. It did not take long for me to realize I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. For seven years, he told me that he never planned to get married, so no one was more surprised than I when he proposed. When he did, he asked if I would consider marrying him, so I wasn't sure if he was really asking or if I was just supposed to think about it. I could not wait to be his wife; it was the one thing I wanted more than anything. He was such a loving an accepting man. I am fortunate to have had 8 wonderful years with him.
We have all heard that the good die young. In this case, it is certainly true. James was one of a kind-he was the absolute best."
Monday, February 22, 2010
Two women, two dreams, one night
Saturday morning, I got a text from my friend wanting to know if I had fun the night before at bunco with the Meetup group. I replied that I did. She texted back that she'd had a dream she wanted to tell me about. I replied I had had a dream with her in it and it was weird by how lifelike it seemed. It was one of those that didn't feel like a dream.
We have been playing phone tag and our schedules were out of sync this weekend so I didn't get a chance to talk to her until today. I hadn't really thought anything of it-we have and share weird dreams all the time. But they usually aren't on the same night and about the same thing.
She started by telling me that before her best friend C met her husband M, my friend had a dream in which M appeared. Neither of them had met M, but my friend just knew that is who C was supposed to be with. She described him to C, and when C and M met, he was exactly like my friend had pictured him in her dream, right down to the clothes he was wearing.
She told me that in the dream she had between Friday night and Saturday morning, she was standing outside her house to see me off because I was leaving. I had to get somewhere and was in a hurry and was focusing on that. It wasn't somewhere bad-I just needed to be somewhere. She said I started to leave and a guy was standing by my car on the driver side near the back of my car but I was so focused I didn't see him (it's sad I am so unobservant that it manifests itself in other people's dreams). But she saw him and knew that was who I was supposed to be with. Saturday morning, she remembered in clear detail; but now she doesn't, other than he had wavy brown hair, was pale and had "weird" shaped eyes. (And no, it wasn't Edward Cullen. I asked).
Meanwhile, on the same night, I had a dream that I was at a Meetup event and was getting ready to leave because I had another event to get to and if I waited any longer to leave, I was going to be late for it. My friend came up and told me not to leave. I told her I had to-I had another event to get to. She isn't in the group so I didn't even know she was there, and was mildly confused as to why she was even there. She said she thought I should stay. I told her I had somewhere else I needed to be. She said that she had talked to Meetup Guy and he liked me. I told her he was interested in someone else-I heard him say he was. She said he told her he only said that because he was caught off-guard by the person asking if he liked the other girl and said he was because he knew the person asking was friends with the other girl. My friend told me he was really interested in me and I shouldn't leave because he was trying to figure out how to ask me out.
And then I woke up. As I said my friend and I have weird dreams all the time-these were normal dreams; the weirdness is in her and I dreaming basically the same thing on the same night.
I am so tempted to have her look at the profiles for all the guys in my Meetup groups to see if she recognizes anyone. But I won't. I will let time tell if there is something to this or if it was just a coincidence.
We have been playing phone tag and our schedules were out of sync this weekend so I didn't get a chance to talk to her until today. I hadn't really thought anything of it-we have and share weird dreams all the time. But they usually aren't on the same night and about the same thing.
She started by telling me that before her best friend C met her husband M, my friend had a dream in which M appeared. Neither of them had met M, but my friend just knew that is who C was supposed to be with. She described him to C, and when C and M met, he was exactly like my friend had pictured him in her dream, right down to the clothes he was wearing.
She told me that in the dream she had between Friday night and Saturday morning, she was standing outside her house to see me off because I was leaving. I had to get somewhere and was in a hurry and was focusing on that. It wasn't somewhere bad-I just needed to be somewhere. She said I started to leave and a guy was standing by my car on the driver side near the back of my car but I was so focused I didn't see him (it's sad I am so unobservant that it manifests itself in other people's dreams). But she saw him and knew that was who I was supposed to be with. Saturday morning, she remembered in clear detail; but now she doesn't, other than he had wavy brown hair, was pale and had "weird" shaped eyes. (And no, it wasn't Edward Cullen. I asked).
Meanwhile, on the same night, I had a dream that I was at a Meetup event and was getting ready to leave because I had another event to get to and if I waited any longer to leave, I was going to be late for it. My friend came up and told me not to leave. I told her I had to-I had another event to get to. She isn't in the group so I didn't even know she was there, and was mildly confused as to why she was even there. She said she thought I should stay. I told her I had somewhere else I needed to be. She said that she had talked to Meetup Guy and he liked me. I told her he was interested in someone else-I heard him say he was. She said he told her he only said that because he was caught off-guard by the person asking if he liked the other girl and said he was because he knew the person asking was friends with the other girl. My friend told me he was really interested in me and I shouldn't leave because he was trying to figure out how to ask me out.
And then I woke up. As I said my friend and I have weird dreams all the time-these were normal dreams; the weirdness is in her and I dreaming basically the same thing on the same night.
I am so tempted to have her look at the profiles for all the guys in my Meetup groups to see if she recognizes anyone. But I won't. I will let time tell if there is something to this or if it was just a coincidence.
Impressions
In December, I met a guy at one of the Meetup events with the fun group. It was one of the first events I had gone to and the second largest I had been to in terms of how many people were there. I knew the group had "official photographers," so I decided to take my camera with me, even though I wasn't one of them, knowing it would be easier to hide behind the camera than actually talk to all the people I didn't know-which was about 99% of the group.
It was Meetup Guy's first event with the group. We talked briefly-he came over to stand next to me to watch a couple of the other members of the group play shuffleboard. I had taken a picture of him earlier which on the small screen of my camera looked like it was going to be a good one and I asked if he was okay with me posting it to the website. It was my first time with the camera and I didn't want to upset anyone by posting pictures of them without their permission (I have since gotten over that now that I am an official photographer-but I do review the pictures first and don't post anything I wouldn't want posted if I was in the picture). It did turn out to be a nice picture and as I look through my pictures from that night, he is actually in several of them. Actually, he tends to appear quite often in the pictures of events we have both attended.
He said something while we were talking that intrigued me: he said he had broken up with his girlfriend a little over a month ago and that he had spent the holidays with his in-laws. This caught my attention because the only single people I know my age who speak of in-laws in the present tense are widowed. But how do you ask someone you just met if they are widowed? There are other possibilities as well: he could have been married and is still close with her family, or just refers to the ex-girlfriend's family as the in-laws. Maybe they didn't tell the family until after the holidays. Who knows? All I know is I was intrigued and curious and still am.
I thought he was cute but I also thought he was much younger than he is. I didn't see him at another event until recently-OMSI After Dark, I believe it was, and then our paths only crossed a few times as we were hanging out with other people (and yet he is the subject of most of my pictures-there were a lot of people there and I was only trying to get shots of those I was 100% sure were with the group). One of the gals I ended up hanging out with took my camera to take a couple pictures of me, and he commented on one of them it was nice to see me in front of the camera for a change, which I thought was really nice. When the group went roller skating, he made the comment that I was early when he saw me (on my RSVP, I said I was going to be 1/2 hour late, but it ended up being the day from Hell and the perk of that was I was able to get there on time) and he was the only one from our group to come over and make sure I was okay after I fell. He's a nice guy and have I mentioned I think he's cute?
But then he RSVP'd for a couple of events and made a couple of comments that led me to believe he was a little too interested in beer for my taste-not to mention another girl in the group. Being the daughter of an alcoholic, I have a skewed perception of who is and isn't an alcoholic. Basically, I pretty much think everyone who drinks beer is one. So my interest was short-lived.
We were at an event Friday night: bunco, followed by an after party at a sports bar. That was definitely a fun night in which I convinced Meetup Guy to go stand next to a police motorcycle like he was planning to steal it because I thought that would be a fun picture (it didn't take a whole lot to convince him) and admitted to another girl in the group I thought he was cute. (Welcome to high school, folks). I also found out he's a dog person, likes to read, and has a degree in history. And he really doesn't drink that much-certainly not to the extent I had pictured in my head. He's funny. And he's still cute-he has a great smile. And I'm intrigued again. And I'm pretty sure he is interested in another girl-who wasn't there but whom someone else in the group was trying to set him up with. (Sigh).
High school wasn't a lot of fun the first time and really hasn't be much fun so far the second time around either.
It was Meetup Guy's first event with the group. We talked briefly-he came over to stand next to me to watch a couple of the other members of the group play shuffleboard. I had taken a picture of him earlier which on the small screen of my camera looked like it was going to be a good one and I asked if he was okay with me posting it to the website. It was my first time with the camera and I didn't want to upset anyone by posting pictures of them without their permission (I have since gotten over that now that I am an official photographer-but I do review the pictures first and don't post anything I wouldn't want posted if I was in the picture). It did turn out to be a nice picture and as I look through my pictures from that night, he is actually in several of them. Actually, he tends to appear quite often in the pictures of events we have both attended.
He said something while we were talking that intrigued me: he said he had broken up with his girlfriend a little over a month ago and that he had spent the holidays with his in-laws. This caught my attention because the only single people I know my age who speak of in-laws in the present tense are widowed. But how do you ask someone you just met if they are widowed? There are other possibilities as well: he could have been married and is still close with her family, or just refers to the ex-girlfriend's family as the in-laws. Maybe they didn't tell the family until after the holidays. Who knows? All I know is I was intrigued and curious and still am.
I thought he was cute but I also thought he was much younger than he is. I didn't see him at another event until recently-OMSI After Dark, I believe it was, and then our paths only crossed a few times as we were hanging out with other people (and yet he is the subject of most of my pictures-there were a lot of people there and I was only trying to get shots of those I was 100% sure were with the group). One of the gals I ended up hanging out with took my camera to take a couple pictures of me, and he commented on one of them it was nice to see me in front of the camera for a change, which I thought was really nice. When the group went roller skating, he made the comment that I was early when he saw me (on my RSVP, I said I was going to be 1/2 hour late, but it ended up being the day from Hell and the perk of that was I was able to get there on time) and he was the only one from our group to come over and make sure I was okay after I fell. He's a nice guy and have I mentioned I think he's cute?
But then he RSVP'd for a couple of events and made a couple of comments that led me to believe he was a little too interested in beer for my taste-not to mention another girl in the group. Being the daughter of an alcoholic, I have a skewed perception of who is and isn't an alcoholic. Basically, I pretty much think everyone who drinks beer is one. So my interest was short-lived.
We were at an event Friday night: bunco, followed by an after party at a sports bar. That was definitely a fun night in which I convinced Meetup Guy to go stand next to a police motorcycle like he was planning to steal it because I thought that would be a fun picture (it didn't take a whole lot to convince him) and admitted to another girl in the group I thought he was cute. (Welcome to high school, folks). I also found out he's a dog person, likes to read, and has a degree in history. And he really doesn't drink that much-certainly not to the extent I had pictured in my head. He's funny. And he's still cute-he has a great smile. And I'm intrigued again. And I'm pretty sure he is interested in another girl-who wasn't there but whom someone else in the group was trying to set him up with. (Sigh).
High school wasn't a lot of fun the first time and really hasn't be much fun so far the second time around either.
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