Peanut Butter Cookies

My computer has been at the Geek Squad for a week now and we are currently down at work with the Internet the only thing we have access to.  So I decided to take this opportunity to post one of the many things going through my head.

This month, instead of meeting at a restaurant like we normally do, my widow/ers group had a potluck at the home of a couple who were widowed about a month apart 8 years ago and found a second chance at love with each other.  I asked those attending to bring a dish of significance and was happy that everyone actually read the event description and e-mail reminders and did just that.

My contribution was peanut butter cookies.  I love to bake and have an insatiable sweet tooth.  James, on the other hand, liked how the house smelled after I'd been baking but was not really a sweets person.  He did like peanut butter cookies, however-my absolute least favorite cookie and therefore not one I made that often.  He told me early on if I couldn't make a good peanut butter cookie, that'd be a dealbreaker.  I don't think I'd ever been so nervous to bake anything as I was when I made him that first batch of cookies!  (Obviously, I passed). 

Peanut butter is also one of the few things we did not agree upon.  I think it is PEANUT butter and therefore should be chunky.  And it has to be Jif.  He felt it was peanut BUTTER and therefore needed to be smooth and it had to be Skippy.  So I always kept both after it became clear neither of us was going to budge.  His exception, however, was that when it came to cookies; they had to be made with chunky peanut butter.  So I had to sacrifice my peanut butter for his cookies. 

I made the cookies yesterday and tried one to make sure they were edible.  I thought they tasted like crap, but I was assured by the others they were really good.  I guess they must have been-by the end of the day, there were only a few left which I had no problem pawning off on my friends.

Dating

I want to go on the record to say I love games.  I love to play and I love to win.  But by that I mean board games, or cards, or even the occasional sporting event (which I never win because those take coordination, which I don't have and understandably, I throw like a girl). 

There is one game, however, I can honestly say I hate, and that is the dating game.  I like games I at least have a chance of winning.  And the dating game doesn't seem to be one I am going to be successful at anytime in the near future-or perhaps ever again.  And to be honest, if that is the way this is all going to go down, I'd rather not get the glimmers of hope.  One thing I have learned from NLNG is that I am ready to date again and I do want another relationship.  But what good is that when your prospects are two men you have zero attraction to and one you are attracted to but makes your head spin while he tries to figure out what he wants?  (Not to mention the 100 matches on eHarmony, of which I had contact with 3:  a man whose main hobby is collecting mushrooms and whose profile had a schedule of which days he'd be doing that, a paraplegic that lived over an hour away and one I can't remember.  Or the scam artist from OkCupid.  Or the married man from the neighboring town who kept checking out my profile, also on OKCupid.  Or the 50+ men on Plenty of Fish who checked out my profile but weren't interested enough to contact me.  Match spared me the agony by just outright rejecting me).  If these are the players, I don't want to play.  I just want to take my marbles and go home and figure out how to accept being alone for the rest of my life. 

I like to play games to have fun and the dating game is not the least bit fun.  I hated it before I met James and I especially hate it now that I've had a taste of how great love can be.  I love being in a relationship, but I hate dating.  Sadly, you can't have one without the other.  I'm not a quitter usually.  But I quit.  I call "Uncle."

A new challenge!

Part of why I haven't posted anything in the last week is because last Wednesday my A/C went out, of course on the hottest day of the year (so far).  Being that my office is upstairs, it was just too hot up here to sit at the computer.  It was finally fixed yesterday so my house has returned to a temperature that doesn't make me nearly as cranky.

Another reason for my absence is that my best friend and I started a new challenge-and a blog to track it.  We had heard of others doing a photo-a-day challenge and decided to do our own.  For one year, which started on July 1, we will be taking pictures everyday based on that day's theme and posting them to our blog.  Check out what lead us to do this and our photographs here:

http://bestfriendspictures.blogspot.com/

Thanks for checking us out and for reading my blog!

No Pun Intended

Last Thursday, we launched our new website at work.  Somehow in the process of doing so, our e-mail spam server got messed up so things that aren't supposed to get through are.  This happens from time to time and it seems the amount of spam employees receive corresponds to how long they have been employed.  I am one of the newest (4 years on September 5) and I am spared from too many offensive e-mails.  (No "bamboo in my pants" for me!  Unlike some people).

I did get three this morning for Viagra (of course) that appeared to have been sent to me by me.  I buzzed my bosses' desk.

Me:  "How much longer am I going to send myself discount offers for Viagra?"
Male Boss: "It should be fixed tonight."
Me: "So just for today, then.  I'm not giving myself really good deals."
Boss:  "I have the official site.  81% (off)."
Me:  "Man.  Me too but I have two 45s and a 19.  I'm stiffing myself."

As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I was so glad I wasn't in his office.  I don't think they have a name for the shade of red I would have turned.

Sick Widow

***Warning:  This is gross.***

I am pretty lucky in that I don't get sick very often.  Yes, I have bad allergies and that does lead to sinus infections and/or bronchitis about once a year but I don't really count that as I expect it and it doesn't usually knock me down for days.  I manage the allergies with an over-the-counter medication (currently Zyrtec-D) and when need be, I get antibiotics for the other respiratory "stuff" that comes along.  I never get a flu shot-I hate needles and I rarely get flu sick.

It is a good thing I rarely get flu sick as I have decided that is quite possibly the loneliest thing in the world.  After my ordeal on Wednesday with the weeds, I ended up with either the flu or food poisoning.  I do not recommend pulling a rib muscle and then throwing up every 1/2 hour for 8 hours straight.  I had it coming out both ends and got to the point where I wanted to cry when the urge hit as I didn't think I could possibly have anything left in me.  I was wrong.  I swear my vomit was vomiting and I was throwing up things I ate three weeks ago.  (It's pretty sad when in the process of throwing up you find yourself wondering when you last had pasta sauce).

When I called in sick to work, I had only been at it for 5 hours and I was pretty freaked out at that point.  I left a message for the first person who arrives at work and asked her to call me-I wanted to be sure I wasn't dying.  (Although later in the day, there came a point where if it hadn't been for my boys I would have seriously considered welcoming death). 

I am not one that likes to be hovered over when I am sick.  I have always said when I don't feel good just leave me alone to die in peace.  But that was when there was someone around-first my parents, then my sorority sisters and then after a spell of no one, James-who would know if I did just that.  Being sicker than I have been in longer than I can remember with no one around was a very lonely feeling.  I am blessed however with a wonderful co-worker and boss who called several times to check on me.  (THANK YOU A!!!)  I didn't want to be hovered over, but it would have been really nice after (at the time) 5 hours worth of trips to the bathroom if someone else could have done the morning routine of taking out and feeding the dogs.  Walking downstairs and through the house just took too much energy and didn't happen when they would have liked it to!  It was easier to take care of their needs when I relocated to the couch, which I attempted to do for two hours before finally succeeding.

Friday I was feeling a lot better but still nowhere near 100% so I spent the morning working from home and a chunk of the afternoon taking a nap.  Being that I wasn't prepared for this, I didn't really have much "sick food" in the house, but decided to try some noodles.  (All I ate for two days was a piece of dry toast, 1/2 a muffin and 1/3 bowl of noodles-and yet I somehow gained weight???)  I decided to cook them in chicken broth instead of water (which made them too salty) and as I was doing this and making some Jello, I found myself thinking it was a good thing I had some extra liquid food left over from when I had my colonoscopy.  There's a thought you don't have everyday and one I hope to never have again.  I really wanted a red slushy but didn't risk running to the store, even though it is only 1/2 mile away.  I was also out of Gatorade and very dehydrated, but that issue was resolved when NLNG came over to watch a movie and brought me some.  Although I stopped throwing up around 8:30 Thursday morning, it was about 5:00 Saturday afternoon when I was finally able to keep food "in."

I am feeling much better and am hopefully set in the flu department for the next couple of years.  I have also decided I am not meant to do yard work and am calling to see if I can work out something with my former yard service (NLNG thought food poisoning was the likely culprit or at least more plausible than "God clearly doesn't want me to do yard work," though he could see how I came to that conclusion).  And hopefully the next time this happens I will no longer be alone just in case I want someone to take care of me after all-or at the very least, run to the store and get me a slushy.