Yesterday, when I was trying to think of something for my profile, it dawned on me that at 34, I have been an adult for 16 years. At the time of his passing, James and I had been together for 8 years, 1 month and 6 days. So at that time, we had been together for more than 1/2 of my adult life by 51 days. Now that he has been gone for almost 5 months (on Sunday), I have spent more of my adult life without him than with him.
I have been struggling with this all day; it has created a new sense of sadness for me. It doesn't matter what the numbers are. No matter how you calculate it, the bottom line is that it wasn't nearly enough time. But on the other hand, it was 2,959 wonderful days that I wouldn't trade for anything.