Sunday, October 4, 2009

Could I be a cougar?

Cougar (slang): a woman over 40 who sexually pursues younger men, typically more than 8 years her junior. (Wikipedia)

Cougar (noun): A 35+ year old female who is on the "hunt" for a much younger, energetic, willing-to-do-anything male. (Urban, definition 2).

I am a fan of the "Twilight" series. After reading "New Moon," I became a much bigger fan of Jacob than Edward. My friend, who is more than slightly obsessed with all things Edward, said that Jacob is underage and this made me a pedophile. I told her I preferred cougar.

The term cougar seems to be popping up a lot in my life these days. The organization I volunteer for on a regular basis has a staff of 5 women and one guy. Volunteer Guy is the one I usually work with for my monthly Thursday night project and who I answer to (so to speak) for my weekly front desk duties, which I just started two weeks ago. Due to my keen investigative skills, I have learned he is a little over 5 1/2 years younger than me as he just turned 30 and I will be 36 in January.

Several months ago, I started to flirt with Volunteer Guy. It wasn't because I was interested in him, it was because I really need the practice and he was safe. He had a girlfriend. It was just harmless fun. And then he and his girlfriend had to go and break up because they want different things at this stage in their life. I stopped flirting after that. I don't want him to get the wrong idea, much to the disappointment of my co-worker who thinks I should still flirt with him. "You could be a cougar," she said. I told her that based on another co-worker's theory on how long it takes to get over a breakup, Volunteer Guy should be ripe for the picking so yes, I could be a cougar, if I was interested in him, and vice versa. It kinda has to go both ways. (One month for every year you were together is apparently how long it takes to get over a break up, just for the record).

Thursday when I was there to cover the front desk, a co-worker of his asked what he was planning to be for Halloween. He said he likes to do something with a pun, like "Freddy Cougar"-a cougar who is also Freddy Kruger. She thought that would be funnier if a woman did it and said I could be a cougar. She mentioned something about cougars being in their mid-40's. I told her I was not that old and she was no longer my friend. I said I didn't think it was so much the woman's age that mattered but the age difference between the woman and the guy. She replied with "so, you could be a cougar."

Although these conversations have been in fun, it has got me thinking about whether or not I could date a much younger man. My brother is three years younger than I am and the thought of dating someone that could have been one of his little friends growing up creeps me out. Although he did have a couple of cute little friends. But eeww. (My brother is currently logged on to Facebook, so I asked if it would creep him out if I dated someone younger than him. He said no. However, when I specifically used the term cougar, it did gross him out. Yet his last girlfriend was 19 years older than him). I tend to like them a bit older than me. Throughout my life, the guys who have been attracted to me have either been a few years younger or several years older. Another mystery of my life: why is it that men my age are not and never have been attracted to me? So, chances are MH #2 is not going to be my age.

I do know that age does not matter if you are with the right person. James was 7 1/2 years older than me and the only time the age difference ever came into play was when he would talk about shows he watched as a kid that I was too young to have watched. I know what it is like to be with someone older; I am kind of curious as to what it would be like to be with someone younger. Would it really be that different? I guess it would depend on how much younger. I'm not talking jailbait here! He would have to have some life experience, especially if he is going to be able to handle the extra emotional baggage that comes with dating a widow. Mostly though, the thought really just creeps me out. I guess the only way to really find out would be for the right cub to come along.


Shannon said...

Someone 5-5 1/2 years younger does NOT make you jailbait! Or a Cougar. However, I like the sound of that. It makes us sound old but sexy! Doesn't it?? Back to the prey. I think the guy you were flirting with at your group would be good for you. My husband is 4 1/2 years younger than me. I am the cougar! I like it. Give the cutie a chance, if that's possible. Keep the flirting going and see where it goes. Tell him you need help fixing something at your house, and see if he will come over and help ou fix it. When he gets there, offer him some of that nice Wal Mart wine you brought the other day!!!:) (Just kidding!) Let me know what happens!

Rick said...

Age was a major factor for me. Since I am 40, I did not want to meet anybody older unless all orders fell into place. It seems everybody I had met was 30 or 31 and those years difference was at times, difficult.

Just have fun, be yourself and step outside your comfort zone when talking to others. I was in Florida (and I am currently seeing somebody and I am happy), but I just went up to somebody and had a nice very small conversation and at first I thought this woman would be short, but she kicked up a little small talk. It made me feel good that I can talk to others and breaks down that insecure barrier, at least for me. I now do this alot. I will compliment a woman's jewelry at a store or just give a friendly smile. Hang in there!!!!