Apparently, somewhere along the way someone decided there needed to be rules for dating. I don't know who came up with them or when they even came along but I do know that James did not follow them. Maybe he didn't get the memo. Or maybe he knew what he wanted and went for it. (That would be more his style). Either way, I liked that about him. I knew where I stood from Day 1. With James, everything was so easy. I miss that. I miss how easy it was with him and I miss the sure thing I had with him.
Now it would seem I need to educate myself on these so-called rules. There is a set for men to follow and a set for women to follow. They are contradictory and it amazes me that people (in general) can actually follow these and still end up in a relationship.
The rules for men:
Rule #1: After getting a girl's number, you are to wait a minimum of 3 days to call and you never make that first call on the weekend. On the weekend, you are supposed to be out whooping it up while she is sitting at home waiting for you to call.
Rule #2: When you do finally get around to calling, don't make the first date for Friday or Saturday. Those are the "big" date nights and therefore too much pressure.
Rule #3: After the first date, say you'll call. But then wait 7-10 days before doing so so by the time you do call, she's spent so much time wondering why you haven't called she will have forgotten if she even liked you in the first place and will agree to just about anything.
I'm pretty sure these rules were written by someone who secretly hates women.
The rules for women:
Rule #1: Never, ever under any circumstances whatsoever make the first move. Play hard to get. When he calls after his requisite 3 days, let it go to voice mail and then wait 2 days to call him back. You don't want him to know you were sitting by the phone waiting for it to ring.
Rule #2: After the first date, respond enthusiastically when he says he will call even if you have heard this on the last 20 dates and none of them ever called so you think he is just giving you a line of B.S.
Rule #3: Do not under any circumstances call, text, e-mail, sky-write or anything else. If he likes you, he will call (rule #1 of "He's Just Not That Into You": he's just not that into you if he isn't calling you). Be patient. Watch a bunch of chick flicks to pass time. And don't act all pissed off when he finally does call 2 weeks later. Just smile so he will hear it in your voice and fall at his feet.
I have a few problems with the rules. First, I don't have a complete copy of them and can't seem to find one, despite my bathroom reading materials consisting of "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Finding Mr. Right," "He's Just Not That Into You" and "Dating for Dummies" (which is really outdated). Second, I really hate to be told what to do. Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of experience in this area, so I'm not really sure how this is all supposed to go down and I'm afraid of doing something "wrong." And I'm more than slightly impatient. I don't want to wait 7-10 days to know if someone wants to see me again. I want to know he does or doesn't upfront-especially if he doesn't so I don't get my hopes up for nothing and can just move forward with the hope of meeting someone who does want to see me again (call me crazy). Plus I don't really have time to sit and watch a bunch of chick flicks.
I broke one of the rules when I didn't respond at all to New Guy saying he would call me after I saw him last weekend. Whoops. Of course it took me until Thursday to figure that one out. So, after an e-mail to my Male Perspective Friend (who is probably wondering how I managed to get myself past the first date with James at this point) and a text to my brother, I decided to send New Guy a very simple text message on Thursday night. I thought it through and decided that he had already made up his mind whether or not he wanted to see me again. Apparently, guys decide this fairly quickly and women decide it after about an hour. What if he wanted to see me, but didn't think I wanted to see him?
The result of sending the text was he called. We made plans for Sunday as I am going to see Nickelback tonight (woo-hoo!!). He was to call last night to firm things up-he played the new in town card so it was up to me to come up with a plan (not as easy as guys make it seem!). I decided if he didn't call, I was spending tomorrow doing much needed yard work. I convinced myself he wasn't going to call. So when he did, I didn't have a concrete plan in place yet (still don't, truth be told). He then asked if I was doing anything last night (it's against the rules to ask for a date last minute). I wasn't having decided not to go to '80's Prom Night after all because curling up on the couch sounded more what I needed with as much as I have been doing lately. We decided to go see a movie (romantic comedy-also against the rules because it can be awkward and suggestive). We had a good time. I'm looking forward to seeing him again tomorrow.
Sometimes it's worth it to break the rules.