Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Round 3

I determined NLNG did not spend a month in a coma and was not abducted by aliens.  Therefore, that was it.  No Round 3.  Time to move on to greener (or in my case drier) pastures.  Time to get back to just having fun and seeing where this road is taking me.  He was deleted completely from my phone and completely from my life.  I resolved for the billionth time I was done with him.  And for the billionth time he came back.  Seriously, what is it with this guy?!  I could understand once or twice as fluky coincidences.  But Every. Single. Time? Really?  (And then there's also the whole issue of me not really believing in coincidences).

I was done.  Have I mentioned that?  And then right after I told a friend that, I logged on to my Meetup account to check the calendar so I could schedule something.  I did this 2 minutes after he RSVP'd "maybe" for an event I was hosting on 8/21.  I didn't react (well, at least not to him.  My co-workers would say otherwise).  He didn't end up going, and I felt relieved when he changed it at the last minute to "no" with the comment "Can't make it :("  I wasn't surprised.  "Maybes" are generally considered to be "nos" and the event was an 1860's re-eanctment baseball game.  He doesn't like to watch sports.  Later that evening, he RSVP'd "yes" to an event I was thinking about going to but had not RSVP'd to yet.

On the 25th, I decided to take my therapist's advice and have my eyebrows waxed.  She thinks I have beautiful eyes and that I hide them.  (She thinks I hide behind a lot of things).  It was a whim and it didn't go well from my perspective.  The swelling made me feel like I looked like an angry monkey.  Even when the swelling went down, I still thought I looked like I was scowling.  It turns out I have a scar on the right side that my eyebrows have always hidden thanks to "Heather vs. the Really Heavy Wood Coffee Table" when I was three.  And apparently, I'm the only one who sees the scowl.  So, I was having a crisis over the whole brow thing and furiously texting back and forth with two friends and trying to take a self-portrait with my cell phone (not as easy thing to do it turns out) so I could show them the horror when I got a text message from NLNG asking me to let him know when I posted my next movie or similar Meetup event.  (Complete with a smiley face).  And then he sent me a butt-text.  And then I smashed and probably broke my pinky toe, which seemed like a fitting way to end the night.  (This is the third toe I've "probably" broken.  James heard one snap and I still deny I broke it.  But that's mainly because I don't want to admit I broke my toe trying to do a cartwheel at the age of 28).

But before the toe vs. the carpet shampooer incident, I texted him back letting him know he butt-texted me and I was thinking about posting a movie for the following week but didn't think it was one he'd want to see ("Eclipse."  Team Jacob.  Enough said).  End of conversation.  Until...

After mulling it over (i.e. talking to my co-workers), I decided not to let his going to the event I wanted to go to on the 27th stop me from going.  A lot of my favorite people were going to be there.  So I went.  And so did he.  He gave me a hug and said it was good to see me again.  I lent him my extra chair and shared my blanket with him.  After the movie ("The Blind Side"), I said my good-byes and left without looking back.  It was late and I had to get up early the next day.  I had an 8:00 chiropractor appointment followed by my first outing with the photography Meetup group (Swan Island Dahlia Festival) followed by stopping by Mt. Tabor to take pictures of members of the fun Meetup group playing Capture the Flag.

After I got home, I decided to go see a funk band play (yep, another Meetup event with the fun group).  I was about to walk out the door when I got a text from NLNG inviting me over to watch a movie.  I thanked him but said I had other plans.  The next day, I sent him a text to see how his movie was, which led to a conversation that we should go see the newly re-released "Avatar" in 3D.  His last text came when I was already in bed; I sent my response agreeing to go the next morning (8/30).

And then I heard nothing.  On 9/1, I joined a speed dating Meetup group and asked my friends to take me shopping for new speed dating appropriate clothes.  On 9/2, I had a volunteer shift for Schoolhouse Supplies manning the donation barrels at the free Oregon Symphony Concert down on the waterfront.  The whole way there, I told myself I was only doing speed dating to practice talking to guys and that I needed to find a way to not be so disappointed when I didn't get any matches.  I thought about how I have a ton of questions for my friend who has done this and how I should probably ask him before I interrogate him. 

I was people watching on my shift and thinking that I needed to just delete the latest round of text messages and I need to meet someone with whom I am not going to be constantly playing games or testing each other.  Someone with whom I can have a healthy relationship.  I look to my right.  And there he is standing no more than 20 feet away.  "For the love of God, you have got to be kidding me."  I look again.  Yep, that is definitely him.  I look up to the Universe.  "Seriously?!  What did I DO to you?!?!"  Every.  Single.  Time.  (It's almost comical at this point because really, what else can I do but laugh-besides bang my head on the wall).  He starts walking my way.  I decide to not get his attention.  I decide to just let him go.  I'm standing right next to an entryway.  He's focused on his iPhone.  He almost walks right by me and at the last second looks up and sees me.  (At this point, I'm pretty pissed off about being blown off not once, but twice).

I admit I was more than a bit frosty to him.  I'm not proud of this (now.  I was acting out of anger then).  He asked me to join him when I was done volunteering.  I told him my allergy meds were wearing off and I was going to go home and stick my head in the oven (the schizo weather had been wreaking havoc on my sinuses-still is).  He seemed disappointed.  Said to call him if I changed my mind.  The concert started and I found myself enjoying the music.  So I stayed.  And we had a good time.  He walked me back to my car; I gave him a ride home.  We agreed to see "Avatar" on Saturday (9/4).

Friday, I sent him the theater info and the correct show time (as promised).  I suggested a time to meet in the lobby.  I got no response.  The fun Meetup group was going as well, so I knew if nothing else I could watch it with them.  An hour before we were supposed to meet, he sent me a text saying he'd see me soon in the lobby.

I got there first and ran into the Meetup group.  The Org for that event has a crush on me.  He has been told that I am not interested-more than once.  He had waved to me from the parking lot; I told him I didn't see him waving and wasn't with the group.  He kept insisting I was.  When it was his turn to buy his ticket, I escaped to the bathroom.  NLNG was waiting when I came back out.  When Pushy Meetup Guy saw us together, he texted one of my best friends from the group to let her know I was on a date (she knew).  I'm guessing he was hoping she'd say it was nothing serious-even though she told him (again) the night before I have said I am not interested in dating him.  This really annoyed me.  He really needs to leave my life alone.

After the movie and lunch, NLNG walked me to my car, gave me a hug and said he'd see me real soon.  On my way home,  I thought about how busy I had been lately and that it would be nice to stay home and watch movies.  I sent him a text inviting him over.  He asked if we could do Sunday instead.  That was fine-3D is an awesome effect, but it did make me sick to my stomach and gave him a headache.  I suggested 7:00.  I heard nothing until he showed up around 7:15.

I tried to ask him why he has his guard up-why he has built up such strong walls.  All I got was an acknowledgment that I was right about that.  He left around 1:00 saying he'd see me again "real soon."  I'm not holding my breath.  Yesterday, I joined another singles Meetup group.  I figure it'll be another month before I hear from him again.

I was asked why I keep going back.  The obvious is that I'm lonely and he's the only one (with whom there is mutual interest) that is asking.  The not so obvious is that I like the parts I have seen when the walls have come down a bit.  What if behind the walls is a really great guy and I let that go too soon?  And I really can't get past him showing up every time I resolve to be done and actually take steps to move forward.  (That goes back to that whole not believing in coincidences quirk of mine).

He'll be back.  In the meantime, I'm just going to keep doing my thing.  Hopefully, one of these times he will come back to find that he's too late-that I have met someone else and have moved on.

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