Monday, February 28, 2011


Last spring (April 24th to be exact), I met he who is now known as No Longer New Guy (NLNG for short).  I then proceeded to drive everyone nuts for 6 months until I walked away for good.  I knew it wasn't going anywhere early on but I was afraid no one would ever be interested in me again and even more illogical than that, every time I asked for a sign as to what was meant to be, he'd pop up in some way, shape or form.  It could have been a couple of months since I last heard from or saw him, I'd ask for a sign and a couple of hours later literally run into him at a crowded concert in the park.  Or he'd call me to see if I was free the next day.  My co-worker was starting to wonder if he had me microchipped as it happened every single time without fail.

Finally in September, I realized just how much I would be settling if I kept this up when I realized my male friends treated me better than he ever did.  This has become my new standard dating measurement should I ever date again.  I decided it would be better to be alone for the rest of my life-a fear I have long had-than settle for someone who quite frankly pissed me off more than anything.  I've had moments of doubt-mainly wondering if someone else was going to come along, but when I saw him across the room in December and the sight of him made me want to throw up (and not in the good "the captain of the football team just asked me to prom" sort of way-my other standard dating measurement), I knew I was better off with him not in my life.

I don't know if I was dreaming about something difficult or what the deal was but I woke up teary on Friday morning.  I'd gotten into a disagreement with Guy Pal earlier in the week, which I'm not used to, and hadn't really been in contact with him since then.  (I spent most of the weekend hanging out with him).  I was also going to see the guy I am attracted to with the girl he's dating (I have now confirmed that is still on) at an event later that night and while I knew I needed to see them together to get it through my thick skull he's not interested in me, part of me was dreading it at the same time (it was fine).

So on my way to work I was crying.  I prayed that my friendship with Guy Pal wasn't over (I really need to get over my fear that every bump in the road means that person has decided to walk out of my life!).  I prayed that I would be able to stop crying before the event that night as it was supposed to be a fun thing (it was).  And I prayed to please, please, please let there be someone out there for me. 

When I got to work and pulled up Rhapsody, the first song to come on was "Don't Give Up on Love" by Tommy Page.  I thought that was interesting-the songs by Tommy Page have been erroring out for the last several months and not playing.  But I also took it as a sign that maybe there is still reason to hope. 

Later that afternoon, I decided to see if there had been any changes to who had RSVP'd for that evening's festivities.  I logged on to Meetup five minutes after someone with the same name as NLNG joined one of the Meetup groups I belong to.  The profile picture is that of a cat.  I told myself it's a common name and he doesn't have a cat.  My instincts were screaming "Oh, HELL no."  I pulled up the profile.  His hobbies (or rather hobby) is the same as NLNG, as his is birth month.  I clicked on pictures, already knowing what I was going to find. 

Why does he always pop up like this?  I don't believe in coincidence and I am NOT amused.  The good news is I don't do a lot with this group so it should be pretty easy to avoid him if I decide I really don't want to see him-a decision I've already made.

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