The night James died, I was given a piece of paper that had the names of the paramedics and the information I needed to get a copy of the police report if I wanted or needed it. I have no idea what I did with that information; I know all I need to know about the accident that was caused as a result of James having a heart attack. The only question the police report can answer for me is where exactly it happened. The answers to my other questions can't be found on a piece of paper.
In the 23 months since it happened, I have never really given a lot of thought to the ensuing accident itself. Thankfully, the other drivers weren't hurt which is all I care about knowing. That all changed on Tuesday.
I was on my way to meet several others from the Meetup group at the Food Bank for a volunteer project. I was heading south on the bridge when I saw the emergency lights on the northbound side. It was a three car injury accident. James was heading north when he died and caused a three car accident, including his own.
Traffic was backed up for as far as I could see. Is that what it was like the night he died? Probably, as traffic was already slow due to another accident earlier that day. I imagined the frustration of the drivers stuck in the backup. And then I imagined what it had to have been like for James' best friend-to have his wife telling him he needed to get to the hospital and his not knowing it was the accident James caused that had him stuck in traffic and unable to get there.
I felt sick. So very sick. By the time I got to the Food Bank I wanted to throw up. I imagine this scene was very similar to the one the night James died-the one I never had to see but can now picture so clearly in my head.