What I Want

I have a friend who is a big believer in the Law of Attraction. She keeps telling me that I have to "put out there" what it is I want. Over the last several months, I have been thinking about this and compiling a list. (And no, I did NOT make a spreadsheet. (Yes, I thought about it). I actually wrote this by hand on college-ruled paper with a pencil). I have a pretty good idea of what it is I am looking for. Some of these traits are ones I loved in James; some are different as I am not the same person I was when he was alive. Other than the first two, these are in no particular order-it is just how they came to mind.

• I want a man who makes me laugh.
• I want a man who loves my dogs.
• I want a man who is understanding of my position as a widow. It would be nice if he was widowed too.
• I want a man who likes to read.
• I want a man who likes to travel.
• I want a man who likes to (or is at least willing to) volunteer or who supports my desire to do so.
• I want a man who does not smoke.
• I want a man who only drinks on occasion. Every day is not an occasion.
• I want a man who I can take a nice long walk/go on a hike/explore with in the morning and then spend a lazy afternoon at home with.
• I want a man I can take to game night with my friends. Both the rowdy set and the calm set.
• I want a man who has his own hobbies which will allow me to work on mine.
• I want a man who likes to try new restaurants but is okay with the occasional trip to the Olive Garden.
• I want a man who accepts and loves me for who I am-quirks and all-and does not try to change me (one of the things I loved most about James).
• I want a man who encourages me to do my best and follow my dreams.
• I want a man who compliments me-not completes me.
• I want a man who will encourage me to try new things (interests).
• I want a man I can talk to for hours about anything and/or nothing and have it only feel like a few minutes have passed.
• I want a man who is on par with me financially.
• I want a man who owns his own home.
• I want a man who does not have kids (unless he is widowed, of course) or baby mama drama.
• I want a man who does not do drugs.
• I want a man who is 33 - 41, give or take a couple of years on either end.
• I want a man who is most certainly NOT already married to someone else. (That would so beyond suck. Not to mention royally piss me off).
• I want a man who is a good listener and who pays attention to the little details.
• I want a man who treats me with the respect I deserve.
• I want a man who likes to listen to music.
• I want a man who has a dorky side.
• I want a man who has a job.
• I want a man who I am physically attracted to. (Obviously).
• I want a man who preferably has dark hair (NO CARROT TOP REDHEADS).
• I want a man who is taller than me, which shouldn't be too difficult since I am only 5'4".
• I want a man who is in good physical (and mental) health.
  
• I want a man who is willing to talk things out and work through the issues that arise in every relationship. I want a man who doesn't believe in divorce.
• I want a man who is honest.
  
• I want a man who respects my spiritual beliefs even if his are different.
• I want a man who is affectionate.
• I want a man who is laid-back.
  

As time goes on, I am sure the list will be added to and the priority order will change (especially since there isn't one now). But here it is: my summary of Mystery Husband #2. If nothing else, this list will hopefully keep me from settling for anyone who is less than ideal.