November 11, 2004: Dad dies at age 53 due to complications from adult onset diabetes. It was expected.
March 3, 2005: My father-in-law dies at age 67 due to liver failure the day after being told that with some lifestyle changes, he would have another year or two to live.
July 16, 2006: My cousin dies from massive head injuries suffered in a motorcycle accident. He was 22.
March 30, 2007: Grandma dies from heart failure at the age of 86.
September 8, 2007: James' aunt dies after slowly declining following almost dying in 2005. I am not sure the official cause of death; we just think she lost her will to live. I'm not sure how old she was-in her 60's, I believe.
February 6, 2008: James dies of a heart attack while driving home from work. He was 41.
March 17, 2008: James' aunt dies after a 3-year battle with lung cancer that spread to her brain shortly after being told she was thisclose to being in remission. She was 58 or 59.
The family members that I have a good, strong relationship with now consist of my mother, my brother, my mother-in-law and James' cousin.
I am afraid that I will let a good thing slip through my fingers because I will keep someone at arms' length out of fear that as soon as I let my guard down and allow myself to get close and allow someone to get close to me, he will just up and die too. I am hoping that being aware of this possibility will help me work through it when the time comes.