Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Lousy attempt at a pep talk

I had an entire whiny post typed out but deleted it. I felt silly whining about my bad day when there are people with problems a lot worse than a deadline being changed to a time that I did not feel I could not possibly meet, being told I may have a bigger problem with my jaw than the orthodontist originally thought (my head immediately went to needing surgery), and the sprinkler system not working.

Yes, these things suck. But they can be easily overcome: the project was not as extensive as it was made out to be and I was able to do enough of it to satisfy my boss before I went to the orthodontist. My teeth have another 6 weeks to move before we have to look at other options and my orthodontist is trying a more aggressive approach. If I can't figure out what is wrong with the stupid sprinklers, I will just water the lawn the old-fashioned way.

Even though today has me wanting to curl up in a ball and cry myself to sleep, it is not that bad. I know things are magnified because I haven't slept since Sunday and I am exhausted. I have a roof over my head and a job that pays for it. I have two dogs that love me no matter what. I have a great circle of family and friends. My teeth are preventing me from eating right now, but I have food in the fridge (sort of-I need to go to shopping so I mostly just have cheese, pickles and grapes). I have places to go, people to see, things to do. I don't have it bad at all. I am still young enough that I have time to rebuild and still have a great life. I just wish I knew how to make this be enough to fill the massive void of loneliness that on days like today is so incredibly overwhelming.

2 comments:

Rick said...

Loneliness SUCKS!!

Its VERY hard not to complain on our posts, but it does help. Hang in there!!

Heather said...

Thanks Rick, and thank you so much for reading. :o)