There is a theme park in Northern Idaho called Silverwood. When it was first built back in the early 1990's, there wasn't a whole lot to it, but now it is hailed as the Northwest's largest theme park (according to their website). It really is a pretty cool place now. And, it turns out that if you know the back roads, my dad's house was only a few miles away. So, one time when James and I went to visit Dad, I took him to Silverwood.
I would say one of their biggest attractions is the Tremors roller coaster. Tremors is a wooden roller coaster that you can see from the highway as you drive by the park. Of course, James wanted to ride it. I hate roller coasters and my stomach drops just watching this one from the road. I told him I didn't "do" roller coasters and he convinced me I should take one for the team. So, I reluctantly agreed, even though I really hate roller coasters, I don't think wooden ones are safe and this one starts out with a huge drop. By the end of the ride, I was hyperventilating. James promised I never had to go on another roller coaster again and went on the others by himself while I scouted out huckleberry funnel cakes. I highly recommend huckleberry funnel cakes. Actually, I highly recommend huckleberry anything.
A couple of years later, James' brother and his family came up for the 4th of July. Not knowing how else to entertain the kids, we took them to Bullwinkle's Family Fun Center. They had a roller coaster simulator. I thought "It's just a simulator. It can't be that bad." This particular simulator had an option where you could program your own ride. James decided to program our own ride. I thought that was sweet of him. Knowing how I felt about roller coasters, it was sure to be tame. I can be so naive. He programmed our ride, and we got in. The ride started and I asked more than once why I felt I was going upside down. Next thing I knew, I was upside down and screaming my head off. That was as far as we got. I am not a loud person. I often get frustrated thinking I am being ignored and more often than not, it's just that no one can hear me talking. My brother-in-law and his family heard me screaming from outside the simulator. James was impressed that I was actually capable of being loud. After that, James promised I would never have to go on another roller coaster and that he meant it this time.
He was wrong. This grieving process is the worst roller coaster ride I have ever been on. Just when I think I am back to the platform, the bottom drops out again. Granted, that doesn't happen as often now as it did in the first few months, but now it seems to come with much more force. Today was a roller coaster day. I was strangely calm one second and literally bawling my eyes out the next. It has been a long time since I have sobbed so hard I couldn't speak. For the moment, I am all cried out and back to the calm feeling that everything will be okay-someday. For now, the roller coaster is heading back to the platform and this time, I would really like to get off the ride.