Sunday, December 27, 2009

Advent #21: Christmas Music

I am not really a fan of Christmas music. There are a few songs I like, but I can only listen to a couple of songs at a time before I start to feel depressed. It reminds me of spending time with family and I currently don't have one of my own. And by that I mean a family I chose, not one I was born into. Hearing the songs reminds me of that and it also reminds me that finances are too tight for me to be able to go spend the holidays with my mom and brother. It is just another reminder that I am not living the life I had planned or the life I want and the holidays are a really sucky time to be alone.

I am a fan of Trans-Siberian Orchestra however. Several years ago, I discovered my father was as well. I bought him their most popular CD one year for Christmas. When he died the following November, I took the CD back and James and I listened to it while we ate our Christmas dinner. I fought hard not to cry the entire time. I haven't listened to it since.

I did find myself singing along to a really awful rendition of "The 12 Days of Christmas" the other day as there was no escaping Christmas music on the car radio (it was Christmas after all) no matter which station I tried and there are a couple of songs I really do enjoy, such as "The Little Drummer Boy," and "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer" (gotta love the underdog!). And I still smile when I hear "Hark the Herald Angels Sing" when I think back to caroling when I was in the Girl Scouts and all of us girls singing "God and sinners wreck the child" instead of "reconcile" and acting like we were going to sing that for real when we went door-to-door.

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