On Christmas Eve, I put up a profile on Ok! Cupid, one of the free dating sites. I think it is safe to say you get what you pay for and right now, after only 5 days, I am already thinking "Seriously, Cupid?"
I have come to the conclusion their matching system is one-sided. I am pretty sure there is not much difference between using this site and Craigslist. I say this because I put in an age range for my desired match (and yes, I did venture a little bit to the cougar side. Meow). Of the 43 people who have publicly viewed my profile, 19 are out of that range. Five are over 50. One is 62. Eeww. My dad wouldn't even be that old if he was still alive. That is just wrong on so many levels. Six are under 30. Even putting my lower limit at 30 was a bit of a stretch for me.
I stated they had to live within 50 miles of me. Last I checked, New Jersey, British Columbia, Florida and Italy were not that close.
I stated my matches had to be single. My most frequent visitor (every day for the last 3 days) is married. (According to some study that was probably not scientific and may or may not be accurate, about 25% of all men on dating sites are married. Doesn't really do much for dispelling the whole men are pigs theory, now does it?).
Of these options, my highest match is 84%-with a 52-year-old from New Jersey (at least he's single). If I do a search based on my criteria, none of these 43 men come up-not even the single ones in my age range who actually live in this area. Only 11 come up who match my criteria; if I put in "reading" as an interest, it drops down to 3. (One was a 93% match so I checked it out. Not bad, but I don't meet his criteria as I am older than 32). According to their little "world love map," this area ranks #1 for my worst place in the whole world to find a mate. That's encouraging. My best option is North Dakota. At least it's in the United States.
I set up filters for who can and cannot contact me. Actually, the ones outside of my filters can contact me, it is just supposed to warn me that they don't meet my filters but are interested. The only one who has contacted me should have come with a warning as he does not meet my filter criteria. He does, however, meet the criteria to be a Nigerian scam artist (reportedly the 4th leading source of income for their country).
I am not sure what I am going to do at this point-just close out my profile and give up on online dating-again-or just let it ride for a bit. I do have a very negative attitude towards online dating as it is. And I really do believe you do not find love when you look for it-and putting up a profile is definitely looking. Maybe I need to step back from this and just focus on getting out and having fun with my two very active meetup groups (one of which is a singles group) for awhile instead.
(Ok! Cupid encourages feedback on how well their matching system works. I should send them this).